


Tear in My Heart

by blurryfics, salutations_spooky_jim



Category: Josh Dun x Reader, Twenty One Pilots, josh dun - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Beau is an Asshole, Blurryface, Concerts, Denied Feelings, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Kissing, Mutual Pining, Romance, Romantic Tension, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Toxic Relationship, Vessel, regional at best, trench
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2020-11-07 21:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 46,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20824247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blurryfics/pseuds/blurryfics, https://archiveofourown.org/users/salutations_spooky_jim/pseuds/salutations_spooky_jim
Summary: “Y/N,” Tyler’s voice dropped to just above a whisper. “I’ve seen you and Beau together. There’s no love between you anymore. Just loyalty.”“This is outrageous,” you huffed, though you couldn’t help the nagging feeling in your stomach that Tyler had a point. “I do not have feelings for Joshua Dun.”Jenna and Tyler shared a knowing look.“Not even a little?” Jenna asked.You looked into her eyes and with the most deadpan expression you could muster, you repeated her words. “Not even a little.”





	1. Before You Read

Hey, everyone! As per usual, we wanted to pop in and give some disclaimers about Tear In My Heart! There’s some pretty important stuff in here, so we highly recommend looking over this list if you’re considering reading!

1\. Like with most fics, the timeline in this series is a little bit wonky (aka, not perfectly matched up with real life events). We tried to stay as accurate as possible to what really happened, but there are, of course, a few minor differences.

2\. Along with the last point, the color of Josh’s hair might not accurately match real life. This series spans many years and trying to pinpoint the exact color of his hair at any given point in time was, as you might expect, incredibly difficult.  
The reader in this series uses she/her pronouns.

3\. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER. EVEN IF YOU SKIP OVER THE REST, PLEASE READ THIS ONE. The reader’s boyfriend in this series, Beau, is a very toxic character who displays unhealthy behaviors in his relationship. There are instances of emotional manipulation as well as brief implications of physical abuse. All of these warnings will be clearly marked and tagged on a chapter by chapter basis, but we also wanted to give a general warning. If this is a sensitive topic for you, we recommend skipping over any chapters where he is heavily involved. Potential triggers will be tagged as tw; [trigger].

4\. My co-writer (blurryfics) and I wrote this series by switching off after various sections, as opposed to writing entire chapters. This means there may be random switches in writing style in the middle of a chapter, which is totally normal!

5\. And finally, this is the first collaboration for both of us, so please excuse any mishaps or bumps as we start posting! We’re doing our best to make sure everything goes smoothly, but we can’t always be prepared for everything!

Ok, I think that’s everything we had to cover! This was a labor of love between two writers that absolutely adore Twenty One Pilots. It started with an idea and then blossomed into this fanfiction filled with ups and downs, and we hope that all of you will absolutely love it.


	2. July 2012 - Before the Regional at Best Tour

Your finger hovered over the bright blue submit button that sat at the bottom of the webpage. You puffed your cheeks and slowly exhaled, trying to build up the small bit of courage that you needed to actually press it. It was only an application, there was no attached guarantee of a job. Or them even looking over your resume, for that matter.  
You were about to bite the bullet and press it when you hesitated. What would Beau think when he found out you were going to be a manager for some small town band? The thought of his reaction was enough to make your stomach churn as echoes of things he had told you in the past rang in your ears.  
Your fingers ran along the edge of the laptop, ready to close it and forget that you had ever considered this possibility. There would be plenty of other opportunities for you, ones that didn’t involve people Beau wouldn’t like - if that was even possible -, ones that didn’t involve traveling all over the country, hell, even ones that didn’t involve you managing people.  
Then again, it was only an application. Being a band manager sounded more appealing than half the flyers Beau brought home from his own job, covered in promises of “good pay” and “flexible hours”. You didn’t need flexible hours and good pay, you needed excitement. Besides, what did Beau know about your capabilities? He wasn’t here to stop you, was he?  
Before you had a chance to reconsider, you opened your laptop back up and hit submit.  
The rush that you felt in that moment was enough to become intoxicated, but you knew that it was a one in a million shot. Moving your hand, you closed your laptop and placed it in its normal location on the edge of the coffee table in front of you, hopping up off of the couch to go and make some dinner for yourself and Beau before he got off of work.

* * *

Three Days Later...

Music blasted near your head, as an indication from your phone that someone was trying to call you. Lifting your head from the pillow, you sat up and threw your legs over the side of the bed as you reached forward to grab hold of your phone. Looking down to the screen, the number that appeared wasn't one that you were familiar with... and yet, you felt as though you should pick it up. Something about that number really stuck with you. Using your thumb, you accepted the call and brought the device up to your ear. "Hello?" You tried to answer with confidence, but slightly fell short.  
"Is this Y/N?"  
"This is she."  
"Hi, my name is Tom Hammond and I'm a representative of Twenty One Pilots..." Your heart nearly stopped beating the moment that he mentioned the band. "...and we actually were going over your resume recently. We were hoping that you still had an interest in joining the boys as their band manager, because I'm calling to offer you a job."

It actually happened. Something actually went right for you.

“A job?” you repeated, hardly able to get the words out of your mouth. “You want to offer me a job?”  
You didn’t even care if you were making a fool of yourself in front of this representative. Your hands were shaking so bad from disbelief and excitement that you could feel your phone tapping incessantly against your ear.  
“If you feel so inclined to take it, then yes.”  
“Um, yes, of course. I accept.” You stumbled over your words. “What do I need to do?”  
“We’ll inform Tyler and Josh that you’ve accepted the position and pass your information along to them. They should be in contact with you shortly to let you know what they would like to do with you from here on out. I just have a few questions to ask you before we let you go.”  
You listened carefully as Tom asked you a series of questions, mostly confirming contact information and addresses, all the while giving your answers as clearly and concisely as you could. The excitement was overwhelming, nearly making you forget phone numbers that were practically second nature to you any other time.  
“We look forward to working with you, Ms. Y/L/N.”  
You wracked your brain for the advice Beau had given you about phone interviews.  
“Thank you for this opportunity.”  
“Goodbye.”  
Tom ended the phone call before you had a chance to get another word out. You sighed and set your phone down on the couch, temporarily forgetting that eventually you would have to tell Beau all about this new job you had. He wasn’t going to be happy, and when the thought of his reaction first made its way into your mind, you shuddered.

At least that was a problem for a different time.

* * *

The text came the next evening, right in the middle of the nice meal that you were sharing with Beau. He watched you carefully as you slipped your phone out of your pocket and scanned the screen. You weren’t normally one to check your phone in the middle of a meal, but the expectation of a message from the boys had made you set aside your typical rules.  
The sight of a message from an unknown number was enough to put a smile on your face, even before you had read the actual text. This, of course, was also enough to make Beau start questioning you.  
“Who is that?” he asked. The grip he had on his fork grew a little tighter.  
As Beau's voice appeared, your eyes instantly looked up to his with dread and you locked your phone up to put back into your pocket. "Oh, it's nothing. Just a friend." You mumbled to him, before grabbing hold of your fork once again and trying to focus on your food. But, you didn't eat another bite after that as you were too busy thinking about the text that you never got to open - silently thanking whatever god there was for him not bringing it back up. You weren't ready for that conversation yet. After dinner, you watched as Beau sulked off to your bedroom to start prepping for his next work day as you finished up the dishes from dinner. Peeking to make sure that he wasn't coming back in, you quickly pulled out your cell phone and opened up the text that you had received earlier that night.  
Unknown Number: Hey, I hope that this is the right number. This is Tyler. Are you free to discuss a meet up?  
A smile splaying across your lips, you instantly decide to text him back before it got to be too late. Your thumbs moving as quick as lightning, your response was short, sweet and to the point.  
Y/N: This is Y/N. You're safe. Name the time and place!

Slipping your phone back into your pocket, after hearing Beau yell at you from the other room to hurry up, you cringed slightly and started up the dishwasher. You quickly turned off all of the lights on the way, hurrying to his side. He knew that he had control over you and it made him mad with power.

* * *

Two Days Later…

After a short phone conversation - which you struggled to keep a straight face through, even with Beau’s careful eyes watching you - the three of you decided on the local Taco Bell for your meetup. You were almost glad that they chose such a casual place, it made convincing Beau that you were simply meeting a friend a whole lot easier.  
One stern warning and a gentle kiss on the cheek later, you were in your car speeding down the freeway. Your music was blasting, subduing any nervous thoughts that were trying to make you turn your car around. What if one of Beau’s friends happened to see you at Taco Bell with these two strange men? Not that they were actually strange, but anybody that wasn’t familiar was a threat in Beau’s eyes.  
Two guys were standing outside Taco Bell as you pulled into the parking lot, looking equal parts out of place and completely at ease. The taller of the two eyed your car as you shifted into park, your music no doubt audible from outside the car. At least you hadn’t been blasting their music, that would take a bit of explaining.  
“Y/N Y/L/N?” one of them asked before you had even made it out of the car completely. His voice was familiar to you, meaning that it was probably Tyler, the one you had spoken with on the phone.  
“That’s me,” you smiled, reaching back in your car for a moment to grab your bag. “You must be Josh and Tyler.”  
“That’s us,” the other one - Josh - smiled. “Nice to meet you.”  
You finally got a good look at them as you stepped up onto the sidewalk. Tyler was wearing a plain t-shirt that was half tucked into his dark jeans, making the bright buckle of his belt visible. His olive colored skin contrasted nicely with the pale fabric of the shirt. He reached an arm towards you for a handshake.  
“You too,” you smiled, firmly shaking his hand.   
You studied Josh more closely as you shook his hand. His dark hair was a bit shaggy on his head, especially where it curled near the ends. Crinkles formed around his brown eyes when he smiled - a seemingly perfect smile, you might add. Your breath hitched a little when you locked eyes, unable to pull your gaze away from him for a moment.  
You finally came to your senses and dropped Josh’s hand, returning it to your side. Your cheeks felt hot.  
“You have really pretty eyes, you know,” Josh said.  
He said it so nonchalantly that you almost didn’t register that he was talking to you. The corner of your mouth twitched for a moment, wanting to curl up into a smile, but thoughts of Beau wiped the expression from your face in an instant. Tyler was looking at Josh with his eyebrows furrowed.  
“Um, thank you.” You swallowed hard, angry that you even had to say any of this in the first place. “But I, um, I have a boyfriend. Just so, like, yeah. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”  
Josh’s ears flushed bright red. “Oh, I didn’t mean it like - I just noticed and thought I should tell you. I’m not like trying to, you know,” Josh waved his hands idly in the air.  
“No, I know,” you exhaled. “I just thought I should put it out there.”  
“Right.”  
“Alright, you two,” Tyler finally interjected. You were glad for it. “Let’s get some tacos before you forget how to talk at all.”  
All agreeing to Tyler's mention of food, you and the boys finally headed for the front door; Josh moving ahead of the both of you to open the door. You figured that he was just trying to be kind and gentlemanly, which you were perfectly fine with, so you thanked him with a smile and made your way inside. The familiar Taco Bell smell hit your nostrils as soon as you stepped foot in the store, instantly moving to stand in front of the menu to see what you wanted. Josh and Tyler wasted no time and bee-lined straight for the register, where a waitress stood waiting for them. They both put in their orders and then, as if on cue, looked over their shoulders to you. Tyler motioned for you to come over to them with his hand with a straight face, not messing around when it came to his food.   
"Come on and get what you want Y/N. This is a serious matter and very urgent," he spoke, which caused Josh to grin before scooting out of the way for you and crossing his arms... which you had noticed earlier were very toned. You knew perfectly well that you would be trying to not look at them the whole meeting.  
Once you placed your order, Tyler paid for everyone and then you all took a seat at a booth - Tyler and Josh sitting beside each other on one side and then you on the other. How awkward would it be to have two handsome men staring at you from across the table while you're stuffing your face with a taco? You were about to find out. Once Josh came back with your cups from filling drink orders, the real fun began: the interview.   
"So, Y/N, who's your favorite band?" Tyler asked.  
"Um, well, I really like Y/F/B."  
"Wrong answer. It's Twenty One Pilots now."  
A feeling of sheer dread flooded over you at his response. Was he being serious? You couldn't tell with how straight his face always was. Josh laughed at his friend and then rolled his eyes, before looking over at you with a goofy smile on his lips. "Don't listen to him. He's just messing with you."   
A sigh of relief left your lips. "Whew. I thought that I was fired already," you said with a chuckle, looking between the boys before catching Josh staring at you.  
He raised his eyebrows slightly as you looked at him, making the all too familiar heat return to your cheeks. You broke eye contact and focused on the receipt that was sitting in front of you. It crinkled as you pressed it between your thumb and forefinger.  
“So, Y/N, have you ever managed a band before?” Tyler asked.   
“No,” you laughed quietly. “I pretty much submitted my application on a whim. I have a degree in business management, as I’m sure you know from my resume, but I haven’t really had a chance to use it yet.”  
“I’m sure you’ll figure out the ropes no problem,” Josh reassured you. He had leaned forward onto the table, making his arms impossible to ignore. “We’re a pretty easy band to manage, aside from Tyler here.”  
Josh nudged his friend in the side, making Tyler roll his eyes.  
“Speak for yourself.”  
You were about to ask Tyler a question when his number was called. He quickly pushed past Josh and wandered up to the counter to collect his tacos, leaving you and Josh alone together at the table.  
“Listen, about earlier-,” he started to say, but you cut him off.  
“Josh, no, it’s ok. I really didn’t mean to make it weird. It’s just my boyfriend is kind of… insecure at times,” you said, casting a quick glance around the room. “And I really didn’t want to give anyone the wrong idea. I’m just here to work.”  
“Work, right,” he nodded. “Well, hopefully we can make it a little more exciting than ‘just work’.”  
You smiled at him right as his number was called, glad that he didn’t press the topic of Beau any further. That was an issue that you still needed to work out yourself before dragging anybody else into it.  
“I hope Josh didn’t bother you too much,” Tyler said, dropping his tray onto the table with a resounding smack. “He’s a nice guy, I swear.”  
“Seems like it,” you said as you looked over the variety of hot sauces that Tyler had collected next to his food.  
Tyler leaned forward, holding one of his tacos in his right hand. You noticed that he was waving it around as he spoke, occasionally throwing bits of lettuce onto the table.  
“I know this all seems informal right now - I mean, we’re in the middle of a Taco Bell - but I swear you’re not getting yourself into some mess. We’ll get you an official tour schedule and a list of responsibilities in no time.”  
You barely had any time to let the words “tour schedule” sink in before you were walking up to the counter to collect your own assortment of tacos. Josh smiled as he passed you with his tray, also covered in a mosaic of tiny hot sauce packets. Part of you was still in disbelief that you were standing in the middle of a Columbus Taco Bell, chatting with two strangers about the tour that you were about to leave on.

Beau definitely wasn’t going to like that idea.


	3. July 2012 - Before the Regional at Best Tour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Briefly implied physical abuse, Beau is a jerk in general, angst
> 
> Word Count: 2820
> 
> Authors’ Note: We just wanted to say a quick thank you to all the support you’ve been showing us so far, it means the world! With that being said, we hope you enjoy this next chapter :)

“Why didn’t you tell me before you sent that application, Y/N?! Do you just not give a damn about what I think anymore?!” Beau yelled at you, after you had finally gathered up enough courage to tell him about your new job. An hour and a half later, it was going exactly as you had expected and you were deeply regretting saying a word.

“Beau, you know that’s not true! But I had to finally do something for myself! I can’t keep sitting around and hoping that something will just fall into my lap. I had to take a chance!” His face filled with rage and his nostrils flared as he breathed heavily in and out, his eyes bore into you as if they wanted to put a hole straight through your head. 

“So you choose to pick a job that keeps you away for months?! No. I don’t think so. You know how worried I can get! You better call them right now and tell them that they need to find someone else!” Clenching your jaw in frustration, you decide that you’ve ultimately had enough of him making you feel bad for you wanting to better your life. 

“That’s not happening.” For the first time in your relationship with him, you felt empowered and it was a feeling you never wanted to forget. 

It had taken a bit of convincing on his part, but Josh had finally decided that he would drop by and see how things were going with you getting ready for the tour. This was, of course, a total cop out of him wanting to admit that he was already catching feelings for you. It was the quickest that he had ever felt something for someone and it all started with a look in your eyes… that was all it took. Pulling up into your driveway, he parked his car and then started heading for your front door before realizing that something wasn’t right. Before he had even stepped foot onto the porch, he heard yelling from the inside of the home, recognizing only one of the voices on the other side of the door. _Yours_.

Internally battling with himself, wondering if he should even knock now, he forced his hand up to the door and just about knocked on the door when it swung open and he was face-to-face with a complete stranger. What was he doing in Y/N’s house? Who was this guy? As jealousy started to bubble over a little, he stared at the man with wide eyes for a few moments before blinking and relaxing a bit. 

“Is Y/N here?”

“Who’s asking?”

“My name is Josh… she actually is my band’s manager.”

Before the man could get a word in, you appeared by his side and it brought a smile to Josh’s face. “Josh? What are you doing here?” you asked curiously, but were so thankful that he had shown up when he did. 

“I was just here to check in and see how packing was going.” A lie. He tilted his head slightly, keeping his eyes on you and trying to ignore the fuming man beside you.

You chanced a look down at Beau’s hands. Sure enough, they were clenched into fists as he stood slightly in front of you to shield you from this supposed stranger. Trying to keep the peaceful facade up, you reached out and rested a hand on Beau’s arm. His muscles were tense beneath your fingers, ready to strike at any moment. Not even your gentle touch could get him to relax.

“You know this guy?” Beau said, turning to you slightly but never allowing his eyes to leave Josh.

“Yes. I’m the manager for his band, like he said.” You tried to keep the edge out of your voice.

“Y/N, can we talk about this?”

The anger from his voice was gone, but you knew it was only an act while Josh was here. Beau would never let other people get a glimpse of how he really treated you, it ruined the image that he had spent so long creating for himself.

“What is there to talk about? This is obviously work-related. We can’t really deny my _boss_, can we?”

You watched Beau’s jaw clench, sending a shiver down your spine. After a moment, he turned to Josh with a smile.

“Excuse my behavior,” he said. “Why don’t you come in?”

Josh nodded and stepped into the entryway. You pulled your hand away from Beau’s arm and led Josh towards the living room. Beau stayed behind, making sure to close and lock the front door.

“Would you like anything to drink?” you asked Josh.

“I’m ok. Thank you.”

Josh looked out of place in the middle of your living room. He had opted for a sweatshirt today, one with sleeves that hung down almost to his fingertips. You noticed that he was fiddling nervously with the hem of the sleeves, rolling it between his fingers.

“So, you said something about packing?”

You grabbed yourself a glass of water and took a long sip while you waited for an answer. Your voice was sore from yelling, but you thought it would look out of place for you to make yourself a cup of tea when half the windows were open because of the heat.

“Yeah. I just figured with it being your first tour and all,” Josh took a nervous glance at Beau, “that I should stop by and make sure that you had everything you need. You know, since it’s different than a normal trip.”

“That’s sweet of you,” you smiled, ignoring the look that Beau shot you. “Why don’t you come upstairs with me and we can look everything over?”

Josh nodded eagerly. Beau started to follow after the two of you, but you stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

“Why don’t you stay down here and work on dinner?” you grinned at him.

“Don’t you need my help?”

“I think we’re ok.”

You walked over to Beau and threw your arms around his neck to pull him into a deep kiss. He returned it eagerly, using his arm to pull you closer to him. It pained you to make such a public display of affection in front of Josh, but it was the only surefire way you knew to get Beau off your case so you could actually get a moment alone with Josh.

As you both walked up the stairs, you made it into yours and Beau’s bedroom where a ton of clothes were folded nicely all over the bed. Your suitcase was open and already had things in it, but your problem earlier was trying to figure out how you were going to fit everything inside. Then, you just so happened to get interrupted by your wonderful boyfriend who wondered what in the hell you were doing. Now… you were here with Josh looking at the clothes in dismay. You knew what he was thinking, ‘Why does she need to have so many clothes?’, but he was nice enough to not say a word.

Instead, you watched his hand creep up to rub the back of his neck a bit awkwardly from the corner of your eye. His eyes darted back and forth as if he were thinking of what he should say in the awful silence. And then… “So, how about that boyfriend of yours, huh? What a tool.”

Turning your head completely to stare at him now, you couldn’t believe your ears. Had he really just said that to you?

“That’s what you’re going with, Josh? Okay, then…” You mumbled the last part and walked over to the clothes, shaking your head and starting to put the clothes into the suitcase again.

“D-Does he… does he do that a lot with you?” Was that concern that you heard in his voice? No, it couldn’t be. The two of you had just met.

“No, he’s just worried about me is all. Being away from him for too long makes him a bit protective. He just doesn’t want anything to happen to me.” You nod your head, as though you’re trying to convince yourself as well as Josh.

He decided not to push the subject.

“Do you need any help? I have a good pair of hands that are empty right now." 

You laughed slightly at his words and looked over your shoulder to him with a small smile, "Yeah, come and help me or I’m docking your pay.”

You continued to put shirts into the suitcase, but Josh reached out a hand to stop you. The contact made you flinch slightly, but you relaxed when you realized he wasn’t trying to grab at your wrist. He simply rested his palm lightly against your forearm.

“You’re going to run out of space if you keep packing your shirts in there like that,” he said.

“Well then how do you suggest I do it?” you huffed, holding a shirt out to him.

Josh took the shirt from your hands - which just so happened to be one you picked up at a Y/F/B concert, your _old_ favorite band - and laid it out carefully in the tiny bit of free space on your bed. You watched him fold in the sleeves and roll the shirt up as tightly as he could. It took up noticeably less space when he put it in your suitcase 

“I honestly wasn’t expecting it to be that effective.”

“My mom is really big on efficient packing,” he laughed. “It’s just habit now. Here, why don’t we pull the rest of your shirts out and keep making them into little sausages.”

“Sausages?” you asked, turning to look at him.

His ears were a little pinker than they had been before, “Another term from my mom.”

“It’s cute.”

“Thanks, I think.”

You pulled all your shirts back out of the suitcase, with the exception of the one that Josh had already rolled up for you. It only took a few minutes of you two folding up the shirts side by side for it to become a competition. Josh nudged you with his elbow, trying to throw you off your packing game.

“Hey,” you giggled as he nudged you hard enough that you stumbled. “That’s cheating.”

“You can’t cheat if there’s no set rules!”

You went to grab another shirt when you noticed the pair of feet standing in the doorway. Josh nudged you again, but you stood frozen in place. Beau was leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed, watching the two of you. How long he had been there, you had no idea.

“I was just coming up here to ask if we still have butter,” he said.

Sure he was.

“Yeah, it’s on the top shelf. It probably got stuck behind the eggs,” you answered, adjusting the sleeve of your shirt where it had slipped down your shoulder.

“Thanks, babe.”

He turned and walked back off down the stairs. You grabbed another shirt and began to roll it up. Any hint of happiness you had been feeling a moment ago was totally gone.

“Josh.”

“Yeah?”

“I need to ask you something.”

“Sure.”

For a moment, you forgot that Josh was technically your boss. You dropped your voice so that there was no way Beau would hear unless he was in the room, which you had already confirmed he wasn’t. Josh had set down the shirt he was folding and had turned to you, his brown eyes watching you with concern.

“Can you just… not mention what you heard to anybody else? I know it seems bad and you probably want to help, but I have everything handled and I would really rather not have the entire crew knowing about my personal life. Especially if they’re going to be working under me.”

Josh nodded, “I won’t tell anyone. You have my word.”

“Thank you,” you grinned, and in a moment of bravery you pulled him into a hug.

Josh’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him. You knew that you shouldn’t be hugging your boss like this - in fact, he probably shouldn’t even be in your _house_ right now - but something about Josh having seen what happened between you and Beau made you tear down a little piece of the wall that you usually kept up around people.

Plus, you could smell his cologne when you were this close to him. How were you supposed to not enjoy that?

The close contact with Josh had been enough to make you weak in the knees. The fact that he was having this effect on you in such a short period of time should have been concerning, but it was more exciting to you than anything. Then, Beau entered your mind again and you let out a deep sigh, as you were forced to let him go, regardless of how much you wanted to stay there. And, by the feel of it, it seemed as though he didn’t want you to move either. Letting your arms drop to your sides as you looked up to the beautiful man in front of you, it became a realization that the two of you were still extremely close to one another and you weren’t budging. Still. Was there a magnet somewhere? Staring up into eyes that you could just get lost in, Josh’s tongue moved out to wet his lips as he stared back and you quickly turned your body back toward your suitcase; moving on with your packing.

What was he trying to do to you? Give you a heart attack? Because it was close to working.

* * *

A few hours had passed and the both of you had finally finished packing all of your clothes that you wanted to take. The rest of it would be up to you, because there was no way that you were going to let Josh anywhere near your toiletries. 

“Well… I guess that we’re all done here.”

“I guess so! Thank you so much for coming over and helping me with this, Josh. It would’ve taken me forever.” You laughed a bit and looked to him.

“Hey, it’s no problem. Anything for the boss lady!” He grinned to you and then pulled out his phone to check the time and looked back up to you to finish what he was going to say, “I didn’t realize what time it was. I promised Tyler that we would go over a few songs tonight before we leave tomorrow. So, we should be leaving around 8:00am. Be ready and we’ll come to pick you up.”

Nodding your head to him in understanding, you smiled and shoved your hands into your jean pant pockets. “That sounds good to me. See you both bright and early!” And with that, the both of you headed back downstairs, walking him to the door and opening it for him. He thanked you and turned to see you one last time with the most amazing smile you had ever seen, causing his eyes to crinkle up on the sides in a way that made you feel warm inside. “Bye, Josh,” you said in a soft voice, giving him a small wave.

“Bye, Y/N.” He returned the wave and then turned to leave.

* * *

Josh hadn’t left your mind, even when you were crawling under the covers next to your totally-real boyfriend. He was quick to snake his arms around you and nuzzle his head into your neck, pressing soft kisses to your jaw.

“I’m sad that you’re leaving tomorrow,” he mumbled between kisses. “What am I going to do without you?”

“We can still FaceTime and text, lovey. It’s not a very big tour, either, so I won’t be gone long.”

“I know, but,” Beau sighed. His breath was hot on your collarbone. “You know how worried I get about you. I won’t be there to protect you. What if something bad happens?”

“Josh and Tyler will be there. And all the rest of the crew. Josh and I were talking about them earlier, they seem like really nice people.”

Beau’s grip tightened on your waist, “I’m not so sure about that Josh guy. Something about him seems off.”

“You think everyone seems off,” you laughed quietly. “He’s a sweet guy, Beau. I promise.”

“Just keep me updated on what’s going on, ok? What city you’re in and the venues they’re playing at.”

“Ok.”

“I love you, Y/N. You know I just want what’s best for you.”

Beau pressed another series of kisses to your neck before letting his eyes flutter closed. You shifted slightly in his arms, trying to get him to loosen his grip so that you could sleep comfortably. When you finally found a good position, you closed your eyes and tried to calm your uneven breaths.

“I love you too, Beau.”


	4. August 2012 - First Show of the Regional at Best Tour

Your first day hadn’t been what you had thought it to be at all. Sure, you were hanging out with amazing people and it was definitely an opportunity of a lifetime… but you had never been so stressed in all your life. Everything seemed to be going wrong and you were at your wit’s end, hoping that it would miraculously come together last minute. You could somehow manage to handle a day like today, if it hadn’t of been for what happened next.

Looking up from your clipboard, you watched as Tyler started pushing his piano toward the backstage door of the venue. But, something went wrong and his foot got caught underneath, having the wheel and all of the piano’s weight run right over his toes. Wincing a bit at the loud yell he made followed by some expletives, you covered your face out of nervousness and stress. Your grip on the clipboard tightened, making your knuckles turn white before you felt a strong arm wrap around your shoulders. Confused, you looked up to see the handsome face of Josh, who seemed to be concerned over you.

Sighing deeply, you motioned over to Tyler who was still holding onto his foot angrily. Josh chuckled a bit and shook his head as he looked over to his friend, lifting his shoulders up into a shrug.

“Oh, don’t worry about Tyler. He does that before almost every show,” he explained to you, hoping that it would calm your already shot nerves.

“Well, that’s good to know… for future reference,” you mumbled and lifted a shaky hand through your hair, feeling like you should just quit right then and there. You were doing awful and Josh was this nice to you? There’s no way this could be right.

You watched as Mark checked in on Tyler, kneeling down to where he had decided to plop himself down on the pavement. They were too far away for you to hear what they were saying, but Tyler seemed to be doing ok. When Mark stood up and went back to whatever he had been doing previously, you let your shoulders drop in relief. A few moments later, Tyler got back up and continued to push at his piano, now muttering quietly to himself.

You looked back down at your list of responsibilities and idly tapped your pen against the edge of the clipboard, looking over the seemingly endless things you had to do. Only a few of the first things were checked off, and those were just easy tasks like making sure the boys had actually arrived at the venue on time and doing a quick roll call of crew members. Just reading over the rest of the things you had to do was making your head spin.

“I’m not cut out for this,” you said, already feeling the lump begin to form in your throat. “What if Tyler had gotten seriously injured? I’m not trained to handle that.”

“Hey, hey.” Josh said. He pulled you a little closer with his arm so that you were now leaning into his side. You had almost forgotten about the arm he had around you. “It’s ok. It’s only your first day. Do you know how nervous I was the first time I played with Tyler? I almost puked all over his piano. Besides, Tyler is tough. He’s not going to get injured so easily.”

“You’re right,” you said, but the words were empty.

You kept your eyes focused on the clipboard, refusing to let Josh see the tears that were beginning to form. This job really seemed like something you could handle, but maybe Beau had been right all along. There was no way you could manage this many people. And what if they got bigger? That meant a bigger crew and bigger venues and more things to make sure weren’t going terribly wrong…

Beau.

You suddenly became hyper-aware of how you were leaning into Josh. Every point of contact between the two of you felt like it was on fire and his fingers seemed to be digging into your shoulder. Any comfort you had been getting from him a moment ago was gone, immediately replaced by a sense of guilt.

“I have to go,” you said, all but throwing his arm off of your shoulders. “I need to check in with the sound crew. I’ll see you when I help with wardrobe.”

You walked away from Josh, moving as fast as your legs would carry you. A few of the other crew members gave you weird looks as you stormed past them, carrying your clipboard with white knuckles in one hand and hastily wiping away tears with the other. You shot them equally icy glares, reminding them who was in charge here.

Tyler just so happened to be with the sound crew, barking his own orders from the top of a table as they hooked up his piano to equipment. He turned to look at you as you walked inside.

“There’s the boss lady,” he said, his mouth curling up into a smile tiny enough to avoid breaking his tough-guy facade. “Thought you would be with lover boy out there.”

Lover boy?

“Who? Josh?” you asked, refusing to let your eyes leave the clipboard.

“Sure, or whoever.”

Tyler turned and yelled something else at one of the crew members. You sighed and crossed off “Check sound equipment”, figuring that Tyler had all that under control. Josh had mentioned something about Tyler being especially picky when it came to sound equipment.

“How’s your foot?” you asked, already looking for your next task.

“Throbbing, but there are more important matters to be dealt with.”

“Speaking of which, we’re doing wardrobe in half an hour. Be ready.”

“Anything for you, boss lady.”

“And quit it with the nickname.”

He shot you a thumbs up just as he snapped at a crew member again. Without another word, you wandered off to get another task done. Each thing that you crossed off loosened the knot in your stomach just a little bit more.

Maybe you could handle this, after all.

Thirty minutes flew by and you found yourself crammed into a corner backstage while holding onto the boys’ clothes for their performance. The venue was small and they had to make do with what they were given, so it resulted in you being a wardrobe holder. The whole idea was awkward and probably not best suited for a woman, but you were their manager and knew that it was a part of your job. As the boys pulled off their shirts, your eyes immediately diverted and found a nice spot on the wall to look at. You knew that the both of them were looking in your direction to make sure that you weren’t sneaking a peek and Tyler had even teased you about it, saying something along the lines of, “I know that there’s a whole lot of goodness to look at, but try to pull yourself together Y/N.”

The whole sentence made you perform the biggest eyeroll of your life and made Tyler and Josh both laugh. As Josh was pulling up his pants, he got his foot caught a bit and Tyler seemed to take notice before an idea popped into his head.

“Josh! You know, I’m just so proud of you for doing these concerts with me!” he exclaimed to his best friend and then smacked his back a bit, also pushing him forward to make him lose his balance. Just as expected, Josh fell forward toward an unsuspecting you with wide eyes and the both of you nearly toppled over to the ground. A deep blush formed on both of your cheeks as you were now holding onto the bare skin of his chest and arms, stuttering and throat clears galore. Tyler thought the whole idea was marvelous and gave himself a mental pat on the back.

He pulled on his shirt and then jovially walked away from the both of you toward the stage with a big grin plastered on his face. Little did he know that Josh was staring after him with eyes squinted in anger at first, but then possibly secret thankfulness.

You thanked god when they both finished getting dressed, hoping that the whole situation with Josh could easily be forgotten. Luckily, it hadn’t been witnessed by anyone else but Tyler. On the downside, that meant that he wasn’t going to let either one of you live it down for the rest of the tour.

Josh seemed to be avoiding you more so than you were him, but he was naturally a shy person and was probably just as embarrassed as you were so you didn’t really worry too much about his avoidance. If it got out of hand and he wasn’t showing his face around you at all, that was when you would have a problem.

You took a deep breath and leaned your shoulder against the brick wall of the venue, allowing yourself a moment to breathe. There were at least twenty other things that you needed to be worried about getting done right now, and figuring out where you stood with Josh was definitely not one of them. That was just another element of stress that you didn’t need right now.

Once your breaths were steady and your head felt a little clearer, you gathered up the boys’ discarded clothes in your arms and headed towards the vans that were parked at the back of the venue. A few other crew members were milling about, sorting through various equipment or just taking a break.

“Hey, what are you doing standing around? There’s a show that starts in forty-five minutes and if you think that stage setup in there is done, you need to rethink your definitions,” you snapped.

One of the crew members - an older guy who had been working with Tyler for awhile - rolled his eyes at you, but the rest of them straightened up and scurried into the venue. You felt bad for misdirecting so much of your anger at them, but it was still your first show and you were determined to make it go right. If that involved snapping at some people, then so be it.

You tossed the clothes into the back of the van and rubbed at your temples. No matter how hard you were trying to push Josh from your mind, you couldn’t seem to get it out of your head. Maybe you should just get over the embarassment from Tyler’s stupid joke and have a talk with him. The last thing you wanted was to spend the entire tour awkwardly avoiding one another, especially after how nice he had been to you so far.

“Heard you were yelling at people,” Mark said, suddenly appearing next to you. He reached into the van and grabbed a small, brown backpack.

“Stressful day,” you muttered. “I didn’t mean to yell, I swear.”

Mark reached over and lightly rubbed your back, “It gets easier. The first show is always the hardest, no matter how long you’ve been on tour. Having to work a brand new job along with it? I can only imagine the stress you’re under.”

“Thanks,” you snorted.

“Sorry, not very good with words,” Mark laughed. “All I’m trying to say is… it won’t be this hard forever.”

“I think I just need to sort some things out with, um, someone. That, and get through this stupid list.”

You picked up the clipboard and waved it for added effect. Mark smiled and took a sip of the water he had grabbed from his bag.

“I suggest you go do that, then. It won’t be much longer until the show starts.”

With that, you grabbed your clipboard and half-jogged towards the venue. 

* * *

No matter how many times you tried, you just couldn’t seem to get Josh away from the rest of the crew. Just when you thought you had an opportunity to grab his attention, someone else whisked him away for some random task or last minute preparation. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought it was intentional.

It wasn’t until five minutes before the show was about to start that you finally got your opportunity. You managed to pull him down a little hallway, out of sight of all the passing crew members. The chatter of the crowd was still audible from where you two were standing.

“Sorry,” was the first thing out of your mouth, followed closely by, “I’ve been trying to pull you aside all afternoon and I just now got the opportunity.”

“Busy day,” he said, his mouth just barely curling up into a smile. One blink and you would have missed it.

“Listen, I just wanted to say - about earlier - I’m really sorry for freaking out on you like that. I was under a lot of stress and then I started to think about all these other things and it made me act irrationally.”

Josh reached out and lightly rested his hand on your forearm, “It’s fine. Really. I didn’t mean to overstep any boundaries or anything and I’m really sorry if I did. I just saw you stressing about Tyler and wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“No, it was - I liked it,” you smiled. “I just get… nervous, you know?”

The hand that Josh had on your forearm became a little heavier. More confident, even.

“Still, I’ll try not to unnecessarily stress you out, ok?”

If only he knew.

“Ok.”

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, just appreciating being close to Josh. His hand was warm against your arm, making you forget all about the stress of managing the band for a moment. All that mattered was Josh and those damn chocolate eyes of his.

“Josh! We need to go on!”

You bit back a sigh. Tyler.

“Coming!” Josh said, pulling his hand away from your arm. “You know where to meet after the show?”

“Of course I do,” you grinned.

“Good.”

Josh shot you a smile - an actual, genuine smile - before running off to join Tyler. You leaned back against the wall and allowed yourself another moment to breathe, something you had found was quite helpful when trying to keep everything in check. For now, your work was done.

But the night was certainly far from over.

* * *

Despite all of the crazy problems that had happened prior to the boys’ performance, the show actually went on without a hitch. Everything had gone exactly according to plan and you could tell by some of Tyler’s mannerisms that he was pleased that this was so. You would learn more and more how the both of them acted about certain things in the future, you were sure, but tonight was all that mattered in that time. You had managed to finish the checklist and pull it off.

As you stood to the side of the stage with two towels and two water bottles in your hands, Josh and Tyler headed straight toward you with the biggest smiles on their faces. You smiled back and couldn’t resist sneaking a peek at Josh’s revealed chest that was glistening with sweat, having taken his shirt off a bit ago. Shaking your head to clear your mind, you gave them everything out of your hands and then put your thumb up.

“You guys did an amazing job. The crowd really loved you!” you exclaim to keep their pep levels up.

“Thanks, Y/N!” Josh responded happily, wiping his face off with the towel. Tyler mimicked his friend and then nodded his head to you.

“Yeah, I’m fairly certain that Josh’s biggest fan was watching tonight… that’s why he was so great. He likes to show off,” Tyler teased, which earned him a momentary deadpan expression from Josh. It was as if he was wracking his brain on who exactly Tyler was talking about. 

A giggle emitting itself from your lips, you shook your head while trying to hide the little twinge of jealousy you felt. Why were you feeling that? You had a boyfriend at home that… loved you? Maybe? Now that you thought about it, you weren’t quite sure what the emotion was.

“Okay, boys. Why don’t you go and get cleaned up, change into something fresh and then I’ll meet you at the van?" 

And so it was done.

What on earth had you expected? When you heard that there was one van, you hadn’t really thought it through what the ramifications would be, but this was ridiculous. Here you were, standing outside of the van looking in, as the boys piled themselves on top of each other in the back to lay down and sleep together. You were the only female there.

"Um… this is a hard pass for me. I’ll be sleeping up front on the passenger seat.” You pointed out and could have sworn that you saw a disappointed look cross Josh’s face for a mere second, but you disregarded it as your mind playing tricks on you.

This was going to be an interesting tour.


	5. November 2012 - Towards the End of the Regional at Best Tour

You pulled the hood of your sweatshirt up over your head as you walked out the back door of the venue. Beau had texted you a few minutes ago saying that he was trying to find parking and would be outside shortly. After finishing up helping out with sound equipment - which, once again, was mostly dealt with by a yelling Tyler - you headed out to collect your boyfriend.

“There she is!” you heard a familiar voice call. You turned towards the source of the noise to see Beau walking towards you, jean jacket and all.

“Beau!” you grinned. He picked up his pace, quickly closing the gap between the two of you.

He barely managed to get out an “I’ve missed you” before his lips were on yours, kissing you deeply. You wrapped your arms around him, stealing his body heat from being in a warm car all afternoon.

“How was the drive?” you asked.

“Not too bad. I would have driven much longer if it meant seeing you.”

You pressed another quick peck to his lips before lacing your fingers together and leading him inside. As much as you wanted to stay and chat with him somewhere quiet, there were still a million things for you to do before the show began.

“Is this what it’s always like?” Beau asked as you led him towards the stage. A few people had already come up to you and asked you questions.

“Yep, almost every night of the week.”

Tyler was still on stage, sorting out a number of cords that were criss-crossed over the floor. He looked up when he heard you enter the room.

“Y/N,” he grinned. “How are things?”

“Great,” you returned his smile. “Tyler, this is my boyfriend: Beau. Beau, this is the other guy in the band: Tyler.”

“And by ‘other guy in the band’, you mean lead singer, right?” Tyler laughed as he walked over to shake Beau’s hand.

Beau returned the handshake, but used his other hand to wrap around you and pull you completely into his side. You wiggled your arm free so that you would actually be able to keep marking things off on your checklist.

“Nice to meet you,” Beau said, giving Tyler an icy stare.

You watched Tyler’s eyes shift to you for a moment, then return to Beau. His mouth curled up into an apprehensive half-smile.

“You too.”

“We’re doing wardrobe in twenty minutes, Ty. Be ready.”

Beau’s fingers dug a little tighter into your hip at the use of Tyler’s nickname. You made a mental note to use his full name for the rest of the night.

“Hey, I think Josh was looking for you. He’s out towards the front of the venue.”

“Alright, thanks for letting me know Ty… ler. I’ll go find him.”

Tyler hopped back up on stage and you headed off to see what Josh needed. Beau kept an arm wrapped around your waist, even though it made it ten times more difficult for the two of you to navigate through the tables that were dotted around the room.

Sure enough, Josh was standing with one of the crew members just inside the front door. His face lit up when he saw you, then immediately fell again when he spotted Beau.

Beau’s eyes honed in on Josh and you could instantly tell that he felt threatened, by the way that he dug his fingers into your side once again. You didn’t understand what his problem was and why he was always so controlling with you… especially around other men. Maybe he had a reason to feel threatened by Josh? Who knew? But, there was no reason that you were seeing in that moment.

“Hey, Josh! Tyler said that you were looking for me?” you said, surprised that you remembered to call him by his full name and not his nickname around Beau.

Clearing his throat and putting on a fake smile for you and your boyfriend, he nodded his head and rubbed the back of his neck a bit. “Yeah, I was actually wondering if you would be able to go back to the van and bring me back my other pair of drumsticks? I picked up my old ones. They should still be by my bag.”

“Yeah, sure, Josh! I’ll go right no-”

“Wait, wait, wait…,” Beau interrupted you mid-sentence and raised a hand up, glaring over to Josh. “Your legs fucking work, man. You can do it.”

You and Josh both stared at Beau in disbelief for a few moments.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m kind of in the middle of something, man. Not to mention that we literally pay her to do things for us. It’s her job,” Josh responded sarcastically, which almost made you smirk. But, you knew better. This quip only made Beau angrier and he shoved you behind him as if he were squaring up to beat Josh down, but got in his face instead.

“Why don’t you bring that cockiness outside and I can mess that pretty boy face up?!” he yelled and Josh glared, not once backing down to the challenge.

“You won’t even be able to get a punch in!” Josh yelled back and then, out of nowhere, Tyler forced himself in between the two and held Josh back while you frantically grabbed on Beau’s arm to pull him in the other direction.

“Beau! Stop! Let’s take a breather and go over here. Come on!” Tugging him away, he finally followed you with a red face and looked back over his shoulder every so often before wrapping his arms around you while he knew Josh was watching.

You chanced a look over your shoulder to see how Josh was doing. Tyler had his arms on his shoulders and you could see the way Josh’s chest was heaving. He was saying something to Tyler, but you were too far to make it out and reading lips had never been a talent of yours. With a sigh, you turned back around.

“You need to quit, Y/N. They’re asking too much of you.”

You rolled your shoulders a little, trying to get Beau to loosen his grip. His fingers remained digging into you, which was uncomfortable even though the thick material of your sweatshirt.

“Beau, Josh was right. It’s my job to do those little tasks for them.”

Beau stopped walking and stepped in front of you, blocking your path to the back of the venue. You stopped just in time to avoid running straight into his chest.

“Don’t tell me you’re taking his side here,” he said through gritted teeth. “Nobody gets to boss you around like that.”

Except you.

“He’s my boss, Beau,” you said, keeping your voice as steady and calm as possible. “I’m not taking his side. You’re right, it sucks that I have to walk all over the place, but that’s what they’re paying me to do.”

You took a deep breath and brushed past him, knowing that he would follow. Even if Beau was trying to start an argument, you weren’t going to let it get in the way of your tasks. The last few months on the job had made you exceptional at multitasking.

“I don’t like that guy, Y/N. I’m telling you-”

“I know, lovey, but you’re not the one that has to be around him all the time. Josh is my boss and our relationship is strictly professional.”

Beau muttered something to himself, but the sound of the back door creaking open and the following howl of the wind made it inaudible. You grabbed the van keys from your pocket and retrieved Josh’s extra pair of drumsticks from his bag.

“How’d you know that was his bag?” Beau asked, watching carefully over your shoulder.

“I’ve seen him carrying it around every day for the last three months, you kinda pick up on those things.”

Beau reached out to catch your wrist, “Hey, don’t get snappy with me after I just defended you in there.”

You pressed your lips together and held back the words that were on the tip of your tongue. Instead, you gathered up the drumsticks and your clipboard and shut the trunk.

“Come on, let’s get inside before this wind gets much worse.”

Beau let go of your wrist and you offered him your hand, which he was happy to intertwine his own fingers with. Together, you walked inside. You were thankful for the warmth and protection from the wind.

“Take these to Josh,” you said, passing the drumsticks off to the first crew member you found. You knew better than to bring them to him yourself with Beau tagging along behind you. “And if he’s with Tyler, don’t interrupt them.”

The crew member nodded and hurried off with drumsticks in hand. Beau stepped forward and fully wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder.

“I like this bossy side of you,” he whispered, letting his lips ghost over your ear.

“Thanks, Beau,” you said, checking a couple things on your clipboard.

“There she is!” Tyler said, suddenly appearing at the other side of the room.

Beau pulled his head away from your shoulder, but kept his arms around you, no doubt to establish dominance. Tyler didn’t really seem to notice, or if he did, he didn’t care.

“Hey, Tyler. Here for wardrobe?”

“That I am,” he said, flipping the water bottle that he had in his hand around a few times.

“Beau, I’m going to need you to wait here. You can just chill at one of the tables and I’ll come get you when we’re done.”

“I’ll come with,” he said, pressing himself a little further into you.

“Lovey, it’s not that I don’t want you there, but there are rules.”

Beau looked to Tyler, as if asking for confirmation.

“She’s right, man, though I must say that I’m flattered you want to see me half-naked.”

Tyler caught your eye, and you gave him a little headshake to indicate his teasing shouldn’t go any further. You couldn’t see Beau’s face, but the way that he was holding on to you was sending you all the message that you needed to know. Tyler’s mouth simply curled up into a subtle smirk; no doubt this was his way of getting revenge for Josh.

“It won’t be more than five minutes, Beau. I’ll be back as soon as we’re done.”

“And I bet you’ll be helping that other asshole get undressed, too,” he added, though his grip was slowly loosening.

“Dressed, actually, but yes. It’s part of my job.”

You turned and pressed a kiss to his cheek before following Tyler to whatever backstage corner had been dictated today’s dressing room. Tyler had already stripped his shirt off before you had a chance to hold up the blanket to conceal him.

“Woah there, Ty,” you said, relieved to be able to use his nickname again. “Give me a moment to avert my eyes.”

“You like it,” he laughed.

You snorted in response and took your time looking at the various posters on the wall.

“Can I ask you something serious?” you asked.

“I mean, I’m half-naked, but go for it.”

“Is Josh doing ok? Beau really riled him up and I wanted to check in on him, but, well, you know.”

“Yeah, he’s ok. It took awhile to calm him down, but we got him there.”

You dropped your voice, “I’m really sorry that I brought him here. I didn’t know he was going to act like this. I would have made him stay home.”

“Y/N, it isn’t your fault. Him and Josh don’t get along and now we know for the future.”

“You’re right.”

Tyler pushed the blanket down, revealing him in his concert outfit. For tonight, it was a plain t-shirt over a pair of brightly colored jeans.

“Want me to get Mark so we can mic you up?”

“He’s busy tonight, it’s up to you,” Tyler smiled.

You sighed, already not looking forward to having to stick your hands up Tyler’s shirt. Tyler grabbed all the equipment from nearby and held it out to you.

“Arms out.”

Tyler did as he was told and you got to work running wires along his torso. He made polite conversation about last night’s show and tried not to flinch too much if your fingers brushed against a particularly ticklish spot.

“Hey, what the fuck is going on?” Beau’s voice scared you so bad that you nearly dropped the mic pack that you were holding. You managed to catch it before it hit the ground, knowing that it would be a costly mistake otherwise. “Why do you have your hands up his shirt? Is there something going on here that you haven’t told me about?”

“I’m wiring him up with his mic,” you said, turning to show Beau whatever equipment wasn’t already attached to Tyler.

“Oh, and I assume this is just another one of your ‘tasks’, huh?”

“It is, actually,” you retorted, never missing a beat in helping Tyler out. “Usually Mark takes it on because, as you can see, it’s a bit awkward, but he had other things to do tonight.”

“How convenient.”

“Besides, Tyler is seeing someone.”

You shook your head and tried to ignore Beau, but when he walked over and gripped your forearm, you no longer had a choice. Tyler just barely managed to grab the stuff out of your hands before Beau was pulling you away.

“Beau! You need to stop this. You’re preventing me from doing my job,” you said.

“I’ve seen that list, there are other things you can be doing.”

“Tyler isn’t done getting dressed!”

“Let Josh help him,” Beau snarled.

You turned to Tyler, who simply waved you off. Your shoulders dropped, wishing that Tyler would have put up a fight for you to stay. Joking around with him was the most at peace you had felt since Beau’s arrival.

At least the show would be starting soon. That would give you a distraction, at least for awhile.

* * *

Somehow, despite all of the hell that Beau had caused, the boys allowed him to stay for the show. Maybe it had been because he was your boyfriend and maybe it had been because, after the spectacle earlier, they were nervous to know how he would treat you after. But, the show went on as it normally did… with one slight difference. Tyler was doing his normal thing on stage, bringing his showman mentality and putting it on full display, but Josh seemed more tense. More angry. Sure, he hit his drums hard every night, but tonight you were scared that he was going to break them.

Making sure not to put too much stock into your feelings and not stare too much at Josh while standing beside Beau, you shook your head and then looked down to your checklist despite it being done.

After the show, you decided to go outside with Beau as it was time for him to head back home.

“I’m going to miss you, Y/N. I know that I was… not a good example of a boyfriend in there today, but it’s just because I barely get to see you and I just wanted you all to myself,” he mumbled to you as you stood with him out by the backdoor of the venue. There it was again. He was trying to make you feel bad.

“Beau, it’s fine. Ok, lovey? I promise. Just get home safe and text me when you make it,” you responded softly, resting your hand on his chest before he placed a deep kiss to your lips. Once he pulled away, he nodded to you and sighed.

“I will. I love you.”

“I love you too, Beau.”

Walking offstage, Josh looked around to find you but you and Beau were nowhere to be found. Maybe that was for the best, because he was feeling like he was about to snap. Sure, Tyler’s little pep talk had helped earlier, but your boyfriend kept creeping into his thoughts and it made him just want to lay him out flat on his ass. A nice punch to the face might do him some good. Clenching his jaw, he grabbed his towel and wiped the sweat off of his face before throwing it over his shoulder to grab his water bottle.

A hand rested on his shoulder with a squeeze, causing him to look up to see Tyler there with a small smile. He always knew when Josh needed to have a talk or when something was really bothering him.

“Let’s go somewhere and talk for a bit.” Josh nodded in agreement and followed him to a quiet corner where none of the crew members had passed by during their tear down process. Sitting on the floor, Josh leaned up against the wall and Tyler sitting cross-legged across from him, it took a moment of silence before something else was said.

“So what’s going on, buddy? You know that you can talk to me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Josh mumbled and Tyler just rolled his eyes.

“Oh, come on. You need to give me a little more credit than that. Don’t think that I didn’t notice how hard you were playing your drums tonight. You’re pissed and I think that the reason is a four letter name. Beau.”

Just hearing his name made Josh’s blood boil. A look of disgust now covering his face, he looked down to his lap and started playing with a string that was on his pants.

“She deserves someone so much better than that asshole.”

With a nod of his head, Tyler stared across to his friend and rested his elbows atop his thighs.

“And who would be this someone? You?”

“Maybe.”

Josh sighed and then ran his fingers through his damp hair, resting his head back against the wall as he stared up to the ceiling. He didn’t know what to do or why his emotions were so out of whack whenever you were around. You made his heart beat faster and butterflies always formed in his stomach whenever he saw you or your smile.

“Ty… I really like Y/N.”


	6. September 2014 - Beginning of the Quiet is Violent Tour

“This is so sick!” a loud voice erupted that was soon discovered to be Tyler, from the back of the new bus that they had recently acquired for touring. Everyone was still in awe of all that was happening for Twenty One Pilots after signing with Fueled by Ramen and knew that it was about to blow up. This tour would be the deciding factor. Laughing a bit at the happy boy in front of you, you looked over and saw Josh who was being uncharacteristically quiet as he looked around the main area of the bus. The look on his face was unreadable and so you decided to ask about it.

Just as you turned to speak, Tyler came jumping in and wrapped his arm around Josh while bouncing up and down excitedly, which made a small smirk appear on his lips to appease his friend.

“I need to go and get some Taco Bell to celebrate! Anyone want me to bring back anything?” Tyler exclaimed and looked between the both of you with a wide smile.

“I’m okay, Ty. You go get enough tacos to make your heart happy.” You shook your head playfully and then Tyler’s attention turned back to Josh.

“You know what I like,” Josh replied.

“Obviously,” Tyler nodded and darted out of the bus.

Now… it was just you and Josh alone. Sighing deeply, you watched as he collapsed onto the couch and looked anywhere but at you. Was he avoiding you? Brows furrowing, you walked over and then sat beside him on the couch, leaving a little space between your bodies.

“Hey. Are you ok? You don’t seem like you’re quite yourself. I was expecting you to be just as excited as Tyler was.” You looked over his face as you spoke, noticing that he was taking in what you were saying.

“I’m… nervous. With all of this. Since we’ve signed, we’ve had more publicity than we’ve ever had. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to handle this, Y/N,” he spilled out his true feelings about the situation to you and you had to admit that you weren’t really expecting him to be this open. But, it had always seemed so natural with the both of you.

“Josh, this all is a good thing for your band. I know that you’ve had some problems dealing with anxiety in the past, but people love you guys. You and your music means something to them or else they wouldn’t be supporting you. They wouldn’t be coming to see you play on that stage for your tour.” You tried your hardest to make him feel better, but knew that it was hard to convince someone who was so terrified of being the center of attention that playing in front of quite a bit more fans would be ok. What did you know? You were just a manager.

He didn’t speak for a bit of time and then finally let out a shaky breath after what had seemed like forever. You frowned a bit and then wrapped your arms around him tightly, bringing him into your side and resting your head on his shoulder.

“You’ll be ok, Josh. I promise,” you whispered. His body seemed a bit tense at first, like he wasn’t sure what to do with what you were doing, but he slowly relaxed and wrapped his arms back around you. His head laid on top of yours and you could’ve sworn that he had just smelled your hair, but you brushed it off. Closing your eyes, you relaxed against him for a bit and just held him, enjoying how wonderfully your bodies fit together. But then, at the worst possible moment, Beau re-entered your mind, instantly making you feel terrible about what you were doing and now you were painfully aware of how close you were to Josh.

Quickly sitting up and moving away on the couch, he looked at you with a confused and almost… hurt expression.

“Y/N… did I do something wrong?”

“N-No! I just remembered that I-I have work to do! So, I’ll see you later!” you exclaimed and hurried off of the bus. Once you made it outside, you leaned against the side of the bus and groaned a bit, covering your face with your hands.

Were you mad that you had done what you did or mad that you had to end it?

You lost track of how much time you spent leaned against the cool exterior of the bus, counting your breaths and trying to ignore how Josh’s arms felt around you. His touch was gentle, so unlike the way that Beau’s fingers usually dug into you. The way Josh had been holding you was for comfort, not control. 

Your heart started to race just thinking about it. Exasperated, you turned and pressed your forehead into the bus, squinting your eyes shut as you did so. Hadn’t these thoughts been part of the reason you had to take a break from tour in the first place?

Well, no. Beau was the main reason you had to leave. The boys had decided to take a break from normal touring after the release of their latest album - Vessel - to do a run of festival shows instead. Beau had insisted that you take a break from managing and have the boys hire someone who was trained for festival shows. After a bit of convincing, you gave in and followed Beau’s advice.

You had been bored out of your mind without the boys’ antics to keep you busy, so when they announced that they would be doing another tour of the United States, you were ecstatic. They had picked you up a few days ago and you and the rest of the crew had left Ohio - and Beau - behind for the next few months. You were sure that it was going to be the best few months of your life.

But now this was happening.

“What are you doing?” came a garbled voice next to your ear.

The sudden noise in such a close proximity made you jump back a bit. Tyler was standing a few feet away, clutching what remained of his soft taco in his hand. The other one held a paper bag that was already spotted with grease at the bottom, no doubt full of at least twenty more tacos for anyone who wanted them.

“Thinking,” you muttered, turning to lean against the bus. Your arms were crossed tight against your torso.

“About?” he asked before taking another large bite of taco.

“Nothing you would want to hear about.”

“You underestimate my interest in other people’s personal matters.”

“Where’d you learn all the big words, Ty?” you laughed, reaching out to give him a playful shove.

“We learned a lot when you were away,” he grinned. A bit of beans dribbled out the corner of his mouth. “Lots of self-discovery.”

You rolled your eyes at his sarcastic remark.

“Want a taco?”

Tyler held the paper bag out towards you. As expected, a whole myriad of soft tacos were piled into the bottom, covered by a small pile of napkins. You reached in and grabbed one of the tacos, deciding that a pre-show snack was never a bad idea.

“I’m surprised you’re not inside with Josh. You two rarely stand more than five feet apart.”

Your jaw clenched. Maybe a little distance from Josh wouldn’t be such a bad thing, after all. At least until you figured out exactly where you stood with him.

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “I just needed some air.”

“Some air, huh?”

“Don’t push your luck, Joseph.”

Tyler threw his hands up in defeat, “Not trying to.”

“Is Jenna going to be stopping by for part of the tour? It’s only been a few days and I’m already getting tired of all the testosterone on the bus.”

“She’s going to come by for a few weeks next month, I think,” Tyler said. The mention of Jenna was enough to get him smiling. “She’ll be happy to meet you, I bet. She’s always asking about you and wondering how you’re doing.”

“Yeah, I think it will be nice to have her around.”

After a bit of light conversation, Tyler’s body shuddered as the wind started to pick up outside. He finished his taco completely and threw the wrapper back in the bag before motioning his head toward the door of the bus. 

“Let’s go back inside. It’s freezing out here!” He reached for the door and opened it up, making you freeze in your spot. Josh was still in there and you had just left him in the worst way possible without a real reason. It was in this moment that you wanted to just run away, but you had to suck it up, especially if you were going to be doing this tour with them for the next couple of months. You watched him hurry inside and you followed suit, but in a much slower fashion. You closed the door behind you and locked it up, indicating that everyone was ready to go and start your road trip to the venue.

Josh looked up and stared at you and Tyler for a moment before looking back down to his lap in complete silence. Tyler instantly noticed, but didn’t say a word. He had gotten a vibe from you earlier, so he decided to just see how it played out itself. He sat down at the table and placed the bag down to start on another taco, before you heard your cellphone ring. Raising an eyebrow, you took it out of your pocket and saw Beau’s name on the screen. You smiled and then leaned against the kitchen counter, legs crossed at the ankles as you answered the call.

“Lovey! Hi, I miss you!” you exclaimed as your boyfriend spoke on the other end to you in a returned greeting. You needed this interaction with him after what had happened earlier.

As soon as Josh heard those words, he gave a big eye roll and got up from his spot, making his way into the back while glowering. Tyler just smirked and shook his head, staring down at his food so that you couldn’t see.

Watching as Josh left, you were a bit confused as to why he had done so, but you didn’t say another word about it since Beau was still talking to you and you almost missed it. It almost came as a shock that his next question had actually been about Josh, but you knew that it was a question meant to make him feel better and that was all. But, it made you nervous regardless after the incident happened.

“So, how is Josh?”

“Oh, he’s fine.”

“Still just a professional relationship?”

“Of course, lovey.” Nervous laughter ensued, but you managed to make it sound more believable.

Time had passed and you were now in your bunk wrapping up your conversation with Beau while Josh had moved into the main living room space with Tyler, sitting across from him at the table while eating tacos. Unknowingly, the both of them had discussed what happened between you and him and why the air was so thick with tension that you could cut it with a knife. It almost made it hard for Josh to breathe. As they were whispering about you and trying to figure out what to do, they hadn’t noticed that you hung up the phone call and were now staring at them and trying to hear what they were saying.

“Keeping secrets from each other now, huh?” you said with crossed arms, tapping your foot a bit. The both of them whipped their heads over toward you with tortilla and taco remnants hanging from the corners of their lips. If you weren’t trying to look so tough, you would’ve cracked up at the priceless looks they both had. They both fell silent after that and went on eating what they had left.

The next few hours flew by as you were going along the checklist as you did before every single show. It was weird to not have to play nurse with Tyler because of him hurting his toes from moving his piano. He didn’t have to do it anymore, because he had people for it. You knew that their band was getting bigger just because of that happening. Sighing deeply, you made your way to the boys’ dressing rooms with a bag full of goodies for them. You had done Tyler’s room earlier, since it was extremely simple and to the point: Red Bull. That was the gist. You didn’t know why, but you felt like you wanted to be a little more thoughtful with Josh’s things.

Would this send mixed signals to him regarding your friendship? Most likely. Did you care? Not really.

Knocking on the door to make sure that no one was inside, it happened to be empty and you suddenly wondered where Josh had gone. Then it dawned on you. Josh and Tyler had separate dressing rooms, so Josh probably got lonely and went to go visit his best friend. Shaking your head at the thought, you slowly walked inside and then started setting up all of his snacks on the designated table. You made sure that it looked pretty and presentable for him, even though you know that it would all be destroyed and devoured later. To add the finishing touch, you pulled out a small note that you had written for him earlier in the day that you figured would help with how nervous he had been lately.

All it read was: ‘Good luck tonight, Josh. You’re going to do amazing! Y/N/N’ and was signed with a small heart.

You set it down in front of the snacks and then turned to head back out, when the door opened up and in came Josh. He stopped dead in his tracks as you both stared at one another with wide eyes for a few moments. But, Josh was the one who decided to break the silence.

“Y/N, I -” he started before you cut him off.

“I just left you some snacks for before and after the show. I have to finish up some stuff, so enjoy!” you hurriedly spoke and then made your way out in a timely manner. Again, he was left confused.

He made his way over to the table and looked over his snacks hungrily, before spotting the note in front. He lifted it up to his eyes slightly and then smiled a little as he read it.

Maybe you really did like him.


	7. October 2014 - Middle of the Quiet is Violent Tour

You idly stirred your coffee with one hand as you texted out a message to Beau with the other. The tour bus was quiet, aside from Tyler and Jenna chatting on the couch across from you. Josh had just come back from a run and was currently showering before all of you got a start on the day.

“Are you going to be ready to leave once Josh is out of the shower?” Jenna asked, looking over to you.

Ever since she had joined you and the rest of the boys on tour a few days ago, the two of you had become fast friends. You already found yourself going to her every time something new with Josh came up, and she already knew all the details of your rocky relationship, right from the moment that you joined the tour crew. You hadn’t realized how much you needed a best friend - that wasn’t one of the boys - on tour until she came along.

“Leave? Where are we going?” you asked, finally setting your phone down.

“You, me, and the boys are going to explore the city on our day off.”

A chill ran down your spine at the mention of the boys, because that undoubtedly included Josh. The two of you still hadn’t had a discussion about what happened that one day at the beginning of tour and had been avoiding each other because of it. Tension was always present when you were in a room together.

“I think I’m going to pass. Beau wanted to FaceTime later.”

Jenna shook her head, “You’re coming. It’s decided.”

“Jen,” you pouted.

“We’re going to go out there and have fun, ok?” She leaned around Tyler for a moment to check the bathroom door, then added in a whisper, “And you and Josh are going to tolerate being around one another for awhile.”

You groaned and leaned your head back against the wall, knowing there was no changing Jenna’s mind once it was decided. She smiled and leaned back into Tyler’s shoulder, letting her arms wrap lazily around him. He lightly ran his fingers along her arm, letting the slightest hint of a smile cross his face.

You didn’t mean to stare at them, but it was hard not to when you began to think about sitting with Josh on that same couch with your arms wrapped around one another. Warmth began to spread throughout you, matching the places where Josh’s arms had been wrapped around you.

“I’m going to get ready,” you said, standing up so suddenly that you nearly spilled your coffee all along the table. “Oh sh-”

“Hey!” Tyler said, pointing a finger at you. “We do not tolerate that kind of language on the bus!”

“Shove it, Joseph,” you laughed.

You grabbed your coffee cup and wandered towards your bunk where all your toiletries were sitting. The shower had finally shut off, meaning the bathroom would be free for you to use before long.

“We leave in ten minutes,” Jenna called after you.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be ready.”

* * *

The streets of Austin were surprisingly warm as you wandered down them, taking in all the little shops and restaurants. Jenna and Tyler were at the front of your tiny group, blissfully unaware of the silence between you and Josh as they walked along hand in hand. You had tried to break the silence a couple times, but no matter how hard you tried you just couldn’t seem to get words out.

A few blocks down, Josh and Tyler had finally managed to start their own conversation about some upcoming shows that they were excited about. This was your chance. Pretending to seem interested in the nearest store window, you linked arms with Jenna and pulled her toward it unsuspectingly. You were mentally yelling at her for doing this to you.

“Why the hell did you bring me out here, Jenna? You know exactly what’s going on between Josh and me. This is so awkward. For the both of us,” you yell-whispered at her, not looking in her direction but through the glass, so you didn’t draw attention. Jenna just smirked a bit and shook her head as she looked inside with you.

“Tyler has told me how long this has gone on and it’s ridiculous. You two need to have a talk. You can’t spend all of this tour avoiding each other… he’s your boss, Y/N. Not to mention your friend… and something else.”

“Something else?” You quirk a brow, curiously.

“Don’t play dumb, goofball. Tyler sees it… I see it… don’t pretend that you don’t see it yourself.”

As you and Jenna looked into the window, Josh and Tyler stopped walking and stood on the other side of the sidewalk a little further down to give you space. Tyler planned it that way, so that nothing was heard and Josh was out of earshot. There was a temporary silence between them as Josh was pretending to be preoccupied with his phone.

“So, how has Y/N been doing?” he asked Tyler nonchalantly, but received a slight scoff.

“Josh, you can ask her yourself. She’s literally a few feet away.” Josh looked up from the cellphone screen and narrowed his eyes to his friend with a shake of his head.

“Are you kidding me? We couldn’t even find two words to say to each other on the walk here. That’s not happening,” he mumbled and shoved his phone back in his pocket, becoming grumpy.

A soft chuckle escaped Tyler’s lips and he shook his head, seeing you and Jenna finally make your way back over to them. He instantly gave her a look that she shared with him, secretly letting one another know that their plan wasn’t working. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they started walking again.

“There’s this coffee shop that I heard of and it should be just up here. Do you mind if we go in and get something?” Jenna asked Tyler softly and he shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t see why not.”

You walked in uncomfortable silence beside Josh and ran your hand up and down your arm while staring down to the ground. You could tell that he was trying to come up with something to say, but the words weren’t coming out. You knew the struggle.

“Y/N/N, what do you want?” Jenna asked, turning over her shoulder to look at you.

“Um, I think I’ll just have a medium iced tea?”

Jenna repeated your order to the teenage boy standing behind the register. You started to reach into your wallet for some cash, but Tyler held out a hand to stop you.

“I’ve got it.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, Jenna dragged you out here, so it’s only fair I pay.”

“Hey!” Jenna laughed, turning to him.

You glanced at Josh, only to see that he was smiling along with the rest of you. He started to turn towards you, so you quickly averted your eyes to look at your beat up shoes. Your gaze remained there until Jenna linked arms with you and led you to one of the tables near the window. She plopped you down in a seat that ensured you would be sitting right next to Josh.

“I’m going to run to the bathroom real quick,” Josh said before he had a chance to sit down. “I’ll be right back.”

You watched Josh’s back as he disappeared down a small hallway and around a corner. As soon as he was out of earshot, Jenna and Tyler leaned in towards you. The movement shocked you enough that you leaned away and pressed your back into the wall.

“We’re really trying here and you are giving us absolutely nothing to work with,” Tyler sighed.

Your eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

“This whole not-talking thing is getting really tiring, Y/N. Even the crew members are starting to take note of it.”

“Every single one has asked me at least once why you and Josh keep giving each other longing glances,” Tyler chimed in.

“Longing glances? What does that-”

“Listen,” Jenna reached out and rested her hand on top of yours. “Everyone can tell that you two are into each other.”

You started to shake your head, shooting looks at both Tyler and Jenna, “I have no idea what you two are talking about. I have a boyfriend, for Christ’s sake. Did you just forget about him?”

“Y/N,” Tyler’s voice dropped to just above a whisper. “I’ve seen you and Beau together. There’s no love between you anymore. Just loyalty.”

“This is outrageous,” you huffed, though you couldn’t help the nagging feeling in your stomach that Tyler had a point. “I do not have feelings for Joshua Dun.”

Jenna and Tyler shared a knowing look.

“Not even a little?” Jenna asked.

You looked into her eyes and with the most deadpan expression you could muster, you repeated her words. “Not even a little.”

The two of them leaned back in their chairs just as Josh emerged from the little hallway again. As much as you wanted to be angry at Tyler and Jenna for what they had said, you knew they were doing it from a place of love. They wanted you to be happy, and they knew that Josh would do that for you.

Now all you had to do was convince yourself.

“Did I miss anything exciting?” Josh asked as he took a seat next to you.

You slowly shook your head, never letting your eyes leave the table.

The coffee shop had been a nice little distraction from all of the awkwardness that had been going on, as Tyler and Jenna talked to the both of you and didn’t try to force anything more between you and Josh. It almost felt normal again, despite the fact that you two had to sit right beside one another. That was the only thing that you would’ve changed. But, it seemed to be going well enough that you weren’t too worried about it. Once you all felt revitalized enough with caffeine, you all rose from your seats and left to do some more walking around town.

As you took in more of the area, you heard Josh ask Tyler a question but it went unanswered as he and Jenna were too infatuated with one another to reply. Either that or they were purposefully ignoring anything that you both had to say so that you would have no other choice but to speak to one another. You looked over to Josh, who seemed a bit irked at the silent treatment and then sighed deeply. Damn, their plan was working.

“So, um… how have you been?” you asked Josh softly, seeming a bit nervous to even initiate anything.

Josh looked over to you and had a look of surprise on his face as you started talking to him. Taking a deep breath and shoving his hands into his jean pockets, he shrugged his shoulders a bit and chewed on his lower lip slightly.

“I’ve been alright. Busy, but, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah. Busy. I get it,” you responded, starting to rub the back of your neck out of pure stress. You looked ahead to the precious couple up ahead and briefly saw Tyler looking back over his shoulder at you with a small smirk, before shaking his head and giggling with Jenna. You threw an icy glare in his direction, before softening your face to look to Josh as it seemed like he would start talking again as he turned to face you. He gently grabbed your arm to stop the both of you from walking, looking down into your eyes sincerely.

“Look, Y/N… I…” he started and was then interrupted by the sound of Jenna’s voice yelling at Tyler as he had his fingers pinched, dangling his cellphone over the edge of the bridge that they were now standing on, threatening to drop it into the water below. You forced yourself not to groan at Tyler and Jenna’s impeccable timing and then shook your head, looking up to Josh as the both of you had turned to see what all of the commotion had been about. The both of you just laughed shyly and pretended as if nothing had almost just been brought up.

Not wanting to get caught in another awkward silence, you closed the space between you and Jenna and linked arms with her before Tyler had another chance to steal her away. She seemed a bit surprised by the sudden movement, but happily adjusted her arm in yours and started to walk the rest of the way across the bridge.

“Was that,” she paused and looked over her shoulder for a moment, “conversation that I heard between you and Josh?”

“Briefly,” you sighed. “He was about to say something to me when Tyler decided he needed to hang his phone over the side of a bridge.”

You and Jenna both turned to see what the boys were up to. They were still standing in the middle of the bridge, except now Josh was filming Tyler as he dangled his phone over the edge. Jenna shook her head and kept walking.

“Has Tyler told you about his habit of interrupting Josh and I all the time? Almost every time something serious is about to happen, he comes running in.”

“He hasn’t mentioned it, no. Probably because he’s absolutely oblivious that he’s even doing it.”

“Of course he is,” you scoffed. “He gets mad when Josh doesn’t make a move and then ruins it when he does.”

“So you’re admitting that something is going on between you and Josh?” Jenna asked, one of her eyebrows raising.

“No, not at all. That’s not - Jen, please. I’m so tired of this conversation.”

“Oh, Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stress you.”

Jenna held her arms out, inviting you in for a hug. You gladly accepted it, happy to have a bit of physical contact with someone. Between being apart from Beau and Josh generally avoiding you, the most affection you got was a playful shove from Tyler every now and again. It was nice to hug someone.

“It’s ok. I guess… I just have a lot going on in my head that I haven’t been able to sort out.”

Jenna pulled away so that she could hold you at arm’s length. Her blue eyes shifted to the space behind you for a moment before meeting yours.

“You know you can always talk to me, whether I’m on tour or not. And I know Tyler likes to get involved in these things, but if you need something to be top secret, I’m your girl.”

You were so relieved to hear those words from Jenna that you almost started crying on the spot. It seemed that the stress of a bigger tour, things with Josh, and being away from home was really starting to get to you. Maybe even more than you had realized.

The boys’ laughter slowly started to grow louder, prompting Jenna to drop her hands away from your arms. Tyler was quick to put his hands on Jenna’s waist and press a gentle peck to her lips. You tried not to scrunch your nose too much at the display of affection.

“Coming?” Josh asked, resting a hand on your shoulder.

After averting your eyes, you hadn’t even realized that Tyler and Jenna had made their way down the sidewalk. Josh had seemingly waited behind, just to make sure that you didn’t end up lost in a city that you had never been to.

“Yeah, sorry.”

Josh let his hand fall away, leaving you with only a hint of warmth where his fingers had been. You tried not to focus on it too much, knowing that it would only make figuring everything out harder. Speculation never did you any good.

“It’s nice out here, isn’t it?” Josh said.

An attempt at conversation from him was enough to make you look at him with wide eyes. His own gaze remained on Tyler and Jenna ahead of you, so he didn’t notice. You figured that was probably a good thing.

“Yeah. I’m surprised it’s this warm out, you know, with it being fall and all.”

“Fall and all,” Josh smiled. “Yeah.”

You took a deep breath and let your shoulders relax a little. Maybe this didn’t have to be so difficult, after all.


	8. November 2014 - Towards the End of the Quiet is Violent Tour

Laughter filled the bus as you and Tyler were playing a bit of Mario Kart with one another. There wasn’t really anyone else around at that moment to play with him as Josh was in the back busy with something and Jenna had left to go back home. Sitting on the couch with controllers in your hands, the both of you were doing whatever you could to cheat and make the other mess up. Yelling to scare them, nudging, talking crap… it was just a good time between friends and you had needed it after plenty of stressful shows. The whole ordeal with Josh had lightened up a bit, but things were still a little awkward so talking still wasn’t the first thing on your list to do with him.

Once Tyler won the round, you groaned as a sore loser would and leaned back fully into the couch to stretch your back. He laughed at you and grinned, pumping his fists in the air yelling, “I am the victor!”

Narrowing your eyes over to him, you shook your head and tried your hardest to not give him the satisfaction of laughing or smiling at his words. But, you couldn’t help it, so you let out a soft chuckle. Hearing your phone ding, you looked down to see that you had received a text from Jenna which made you feel happier than you already had been. But, it was the usual text that you should’ve been expecting.

Jenna: Please go and talk to Josh. Please. Tyler is constantly talking to me about how pissed he is that he has to be the middle man. And Josh is always asking about you.

You made a face and then put your phone in your pocket before looking back to Tyler who had quieted down after turning off the game console. He looked down to his watch and cursed under his breath, hopping up from his spot on the couch.

“I need to go for a while! The guys need me to help out with some things,” he explained as you nodded over toward him in acknowledgement. He clicked his tongue and threw up a peace sign with his fingers before exiting the bus and leaving you and Josh alone. He seemed to have a knack for doing that sort of thing. After a bit of time spent resting your eyes, you heard a shout come from the back of the bus which caused you to perk up a bit.

“Hey, Ty, I need help wi- oh.” Josh stopped dead in his tracks after entering the room to only see you there, staring at him.

“Tyler just left to go and help with something,” you let him know and he nodded his head quickly and looked down.

“Ok, no problem,” he said simply and turned to head back to where he came from.

“Wait, Josh! Did you say that you needed help with something?”

He stopped what he was doing and then slowly turned back to face you, swallowing hard for a moment.

“Well, yeah, actually. I’m… kind of dying my hair. I need some help with getting it all over my head.” He shrugged a bit and shoved his hands in his pockets.

You smiled a little to him and then stood up from you spot and nodded, walking over to close the space between you before stopping to give a decent amount of space.

“I can help. I’m your girl.”

A grin slowly appeared on his lips and he nodded, motioning for you to follow.

If only you were, Y/N. If only.

“I have all the dye ready and everything, I just wanted to get Tyler’s opinion on the color. What do you think?”

You looked in the little plastic tub that Josh had set in front of the mirror. It was full of a peach colored dye. It would look amazing contrasted against the dark parts of his hair.

“I love it, Josh. I think you - I mean, it… will look great.”

“You think so?” he asked, looking to you with a grin.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Alright, you can go back to the table if you want. I’ll need help with the back of my head eventually, but I wanted to double check the color with someone before I went slathering it all over my hair.”

“I’ll stay in here with you,” you said, deciding to take a seat in a chair before you backed out.

Josh was quiet as he began to cover the faded purple strands in the new dye. You decided to use this time to answer Jenna’s text from earlier, which had quickly been forgotten between Tyler’s sudden exit and helping Josh with his hair.

Y/N: Helping him dye his hair. Not entirely sure how I got here. Progress?

Jenna’s answer was almost instantaneous.

Jenna: Progress.

As Josh slowly became more comfortable with the process of dying his hair, he began to get a bit more talkative with you. Before long, you two were making easy conversation and your phone was entirely forgotten. Concerts were the main thing that came up between the two of you, since it was an easy topic that both of you had plenty of experience with.

“Ok, I think we’re ready to do the back,” he said, leaning forward a bit to more closely examine the front of his hair.

“This is where I come in?”

“Yep.”

You stood up, adjusted your jeans a bit, and crossed the room to where Josh was standing. He finished up the strand that he was working on and turned to you.

“Tell me where you want me.”

A little closer to me would be fine.

“Oh, um, let me figure out what I’m doing. Do you have extra gloves?”

“Yeah, take those ones,” he said, gesturing to ones on the table that you had somehow missed. “Sorry if they’re a bit big, they were meant for Tyler.”

“No worries.”

You wracked your brain for the techniques that you and your best friends used to use when you dyed your hair. Most of them would just dump the dye on their head and massage it in, but you didn’t think that would fly in this type of situation.

“How should I do this?” you asked as you began to work some dye into Josh’s hair.

“It seems like you’re doing a decent job,” Josh said, briefly meeting your eyes in the mirror. “Just don’t get it in the dark parts.”

“Oh, oops.”

“Y/N!” Josh gasped.

“I’m kidding, I know not to dye the dark parts of your hair.”

Josh’s shoulders relaxed a bit. You had surprised yourself with how easily you had thrown a joke his way, especially after the last two months of non-stop tension on tour. It was nice.

The small talk continued as you dyed his hair, trying your best not to let your fingers touch his actual scalp. Even though it was part of the dying process, you were holding out hope that Tyler would be back before it was done so that you wouldn’t have to really get your fingers up in Josh’s hair. That seemed like a level of intimacy that you weren’t ready to handle yet.

“Are you making sure to get the roots of my hair?” he asked, turning his head slightly to look.

“Well, um, I’m getting there.”

“You can touch my head, Y/N. It’s not a big deal.”

You swallowed. Hard. “Right.”

“I promise.”

With a fresh scoop of dye on your hands, you reached up and really began to get your fingers into Josh’s hair, massaging the dye into his roots. He moved his head around a little, making it easier for you to reach some of the parts that were higher up on his head. It felt weird to be running your hands through your boss’ hair, but the more you framed it as just another work task in your mind, the less awkward it started to feel.

That is, until you caught Josh’s eye in the mirror and held eye contact for a little longer than would be deemed normal.

“Sorry,” you muttered, averting your eyes back to his hair.

“For what?”

“I don’t know… staring, I guess. Um, I think I got it all.”

Josh turned and investigated his hair, meanwhile you were practically ripping the gloves off your hands and tossing them down onto the table. Your face felt like it was on fire.

You scooped up your phone and started to walk out of the room, but Josh caught your arm. It was the first bit of contact you two had shared since he stopped you on the bridge a few weeks ago, and the slight brush of his fingers was enough to send tingles up to your shoulder.

“Y/N, hold on.”

“What?” you said, turning to face him. The word came out more aggressive than you had intended.

“Can we talk about what’s going on between us? You and I both know that things haven’t been the same since I freaked out before that first show and I need to know if I did something wrong because this silence between us is killing me.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Josh. It was just me getting in my own head.”

“Getting in your own head? What do you mean?”

Shit.

“It’s just… that day, when I calmed you down and we… you know,” you paused to take a deep breath, “I’m just afraid that I was sending you the wrong signals. I feel like I crossed a line that I shouldn’t have, considering that you’re my boss and everything. Then you factor in Beau not being here and Tyler’s weird looks… it got really overwhelming really fast.”

“I understand. Tyler definitely didn’t make things any easier between us. That’s why I wasn’t mad, just… irritated that we couldn’t talk.”

“I know. I should have just brought it up with the both of you separately before it became this huge thing that everyone had to deal with. I guess I thought that putting more distance between us would help, but really it just did the opposite.”

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N, I understand why you did it. And listen, I’m really sorry if I ever did anything to make you uncomfortable, that was never my intention.”

You shook your head, “You never have. I like being around you Josh, even if these last two months weren’t really a good indicator of that.”

You could have sworn there had been more space between the two of you just a second ago. He was close enough now that you could smell the chemical scent that was coming from all the dye that was slathered in his hair.

“I like being around you too, Y/N.”

“Are we ok now?” you asked, trying to ignore just how close he was.

“I’m ok if you’re ok.”

“I’m ok.”

He smiled, “Then we’re ok.”

Your eyes glanced down at his lips, only for a second. Your heart was pounding against your ribcage so hard that you thought it was rattling your entire body. This was a bad idea. You were taken. Josh was a friend. A boss, even.

And yet, something in the back of your mind was screaming at you to just lean in and kiss him.

“Josh, I think we need to-”

“Yo! Josh! That hair color looks sick.”

Your shoulders dropped in an instant, both from relief and disappointment. Hadn’t you two just had a conversation about mixed signals and boundaries? Yet here you were ready to forget about the rest of your life and kiss him right in the middle of the tour bus.

You could tell that there was disappointment etched over Josh’s face for a mere second before he switched back to his normal happy expression for Tyler. He turned to look at him and smiled widely, nodding his head happily.

“Right?! Y/N helped me! It’s going to turn out a nice color, I think.”

“Oh she did, did she?” Tyler asked, looking over to you with a brief smirk, before you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Just… go and help him wash his hair. Jesus,” you playfully snapped at him and smacked his arm as you passed him to go out to the living area, hearing Tyler giggle a bit behind you. Rolling your eyes at how childish he was, you plopped down on the couch and pulled out your cellphone.

Luckily, Jenna hadn’t written anything else that you had missed while in the bathroom with Josh, so you decided that you should fill her in.

Y/N: You won’t believe what almost happened.

It took only a few moments for Jenna to reply, as if she had been waiting by her phone for an update.

Jenna: Tell me right now.

With a small smirk forming because of her impatience, you start typing.

Y/N: There was definitely a moment where Josh and I almost kissed and then your dumb boyfriend came in and interrupted. Again.

You set your phone in your lap as you reached over and grabbed the remote for the television, turning it on to watch something. Taking a deep breath as you flipped through the channels, you looked down for a moment and saw that she had replied again.

Jenna: Not into Josh. My ass. I told you to talk to him. Not kiss him.

Y/N: Shut up, Jenna. There was a moment.

You giggled and then flipped through your phone to reach her actual phone number to call. You knew that the boys would be in the bathroom for a bit longer, so calling Jenna and explaining things quietly to her wouldn’t be a big deal. She was your best friend. She needed to always be in the know.

Almost instantly, she picked up and started fake yelling at you for what you talked about in the text. You ran your hand down your face and pulled your legs up underneath you, shaking your head and laughing a bit.

“I can’t believe you guys almost kissed!”

“Jenna… listen. There were fumes in the air and we were in a small space. I have a valid explanation for why I was even considering doing that,” you yell-whispered to her and heard her laugh on the other end.

“Y/N, you just need to realize that you have it bad for him. You can try and deny it as much as you want, but Tyler and I see the way that you both look at each other when the other isn’t looking. He’s just as lovesick as you are,” Jenna spoke honestly, but there was just no way that Josh could have the same feelings.

Sure, there was flirting there. There always had been, now that you thought about it. That thought alone made you feel horrible about Beau. Was what you were doing justified with how your boyfriend treated you? You always felt more like a possession than a girlfriend around him. Josh, on the other hand, made you feel like you were invaluable and the greatest treasure on earth.

How could he do that with such few words and touches? Simple glances? It was intoxicating.


	9. March 2015 - Tyler & Jenna’s Wedding

You could still remember the look on Jenna’s face when she FaceTimed you the night of the engagement. She had been talking a mile a minute, giving you every little detail from the color of socks Tyler was wearing to what he actually said when he asked her to marry him. By the end of the call, you had been deemed the first member of her bridal party.

Now you were here, watching the two of them dance under the spotlight in front of all their family and friends. Jenna looked absolutely gorgeous in her dress, although you had expected no different from someone like her. Both her and Tyler were beaming as they slowly moved around the floor, completely absorbed in one another.

Your mind began to wander about what it would feel like to be up there, dancing with somebody that you loved that much. A smile spread across your lips at the mere thought of it: his shining smile, those familiar arms around your waist, dotted with color, the curly peach hair.

Wait.

“Do you want another drink?”

Josh’s voice snapped you out of your daydream. He was leaned down next to you, one hand already wrapped around your nearly empty cup.

“Yes, please.” You cleared your throat and shot a polite smile his way.

“Same thing?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Josh.”

He nodded and wandered off between the tables. His bright hair made him easy to spot at the bar on the other side of the room, but you tore your eyes away and focused on the happy newlyweds. They were the focus today, not anybody else.

The music ended before Josh returned. Tyler gave Jenna another kiss, the smile on his face evident even from a distance. You had seen Tyler smile countless times before, but they were never quite the same as the smile he had when Jenna was around.

“Here you go,” Josh said, setting your drink in front of you. You hadn’t heard him return.

“Thanks.”

“Did I miss anything?”

“Just the end of the dance and the two of them being so in love it will make you sick,” you grinned.

Tyler wrapped an arm around Jenna’s waist and led her off the dance floor, whispering something into her ear to make her laugh. The exchange was enough to put a smile on your face too, but it didn’t last long. Thoughts of Beau - who had been banned from coming to the wedding by Tyler himself - began to make their way into your mind. Had you two ever been that happy, even when you first started dating?

“Think they’ll let everyone dance soon?” Josh asked. “I have some moves that I need to show off.”

“You dance?” you asked, idly twirling your straw around your glass.

“On occasion, if I like the person I’m dancing with.”

You raised your eyebrows at Josh, but he simply matched it with a smile. Before your conversation had a chance to go any further, two familiar figures appeared at your otherwise empty table.

“Don’t look so bored,” Jenna smiled.

“Not bored, just waiting,” you grinned before standing up to hug her.

“For what?” Tyler asked.

“Music to dance to, obviously,” Josh chimed in.

You and Jenna quickly became absorbed in your own conversation, leaving the boys to their own devices.

“I know I’ve said this a million times already today, but you look stunning, Jen.”

“My makeup isn’t running from all the crying?” she giggled.

“Nope, your makeup is still as flawless as this morning.”

“Oh good, I was worried about that. You look amazing, too, you know.”

“Thank you, but today isn’t about me.”

Jenna smiled and glanced over at Tyler. You could see all her admiration and love for Tyler in the single glance. Did Beau ever look at you like that?

“Sorry,” she said, turning back to you. “I can’t stop staring at him.”

“Stare all you want, you only get one wedding day.”

Jenna smiled and rested a hand on your arm.

“I’d love to stay and talk, but we have a lot of people to catch up with. I just wanted to come over and check in on you two first.”

“We’re doing just fine, don’t worry.”

“There will be music soon, I promise! You don’t have to spend the rest of the day sitting around.”

“Jenna!” you giggled. “Relax. Josh and I have been having good conversation. Focus on you and Tyler today.”

“You’re right. Thanks, Y/N.”

You pulled her into another quick hug before she walked over to collect Tyler. He finished up his conversation with Josh before following her to the next set of people they needed to talk to, once again leaving just you and Josh.

As you took a sip of the new drink that Josh had brought over for you, loud music then filled the room to let everyone know that it was time to dance. The open space in the middle of the room that was meant to be used as a dance floor was starting to fill up with a bunch of different couples and friends enjoying themselves. You smiled at the sight, before seeing Josh’s hand extend down to you with a cheesy grin plastered on his face.

“Do you want to dance with me?”

How could you resist?

“Sure!” You set your glass down and then took hold of his hand, feeling instant chills run up and down your spine as you did so.

Standing to your feet, you felt yourself being pulled by Josh, causing a laugh to escape your lips as you followed closely behind him. The music was fast and the bass seemed to pound in your chest as you both got closer to the speakers. Standing there a bit awkwardly, you forgot to mention to him that you didn’t really dance, but he was sure to figure that out quickly. Watching him start to jokingly shake his hips and flail his arms to the beat made a strange facial expression present itself on your facial features, taking him in as you tried to find any semblance of a dance move in what he was doing. This was exactly one of the reasons that you adored Josh. He didn’t care what other people thought. He only cared about having fun - enjoying himself.

Noticing that you weren’t moving at all, he moved closer to you and grabbed hold of your arms, moving them around just as he had been doing himself moments before. You laughed loudly at his actions, causing him to do the same, as you both started playfully dancing around together.

Just as you were starting to really get into it, the music switched over to a slow song, causing you and Josh to stop moving. Nervously looking around at all of the couples slow dancing around you, you chewed on the inside of your lip before turning to take a seat at the table once more. But, you then felt Josh’s hand grab hold of yours, squeezing slightly as you looked back to him. The look he gave you was almost pleading and it melted your heart.

“Dance with me?”

Staring into his eyes for a few moments, you slowly nodded your head and moved back to stand in front of him. He swallowed hard and placed his hands on your hips, making sure to be respectful while doing so as your hands rested on his shoulders. This was about as close as the both of you had ever been, besides the time he had held you in his arms. Many nights you had laid awake, remembering how wonderful it felt to be that close to him. He made you feel safe and secure whenever he was around and that wasn’t a feeling you had ever had with Beau. Looking up as the both of you started swaying side to side, you noticed that he was already staring down at you with a warm smile, causing your heart to skip a beat.

It was in that moment you realized… you were falling in love with Joshua Dun.

Your breath caught in your throat, making you cough a little. Josh stopped swaying for a moment and looked at you, his eyebrows knit together in concern. You swallowed and met his gaze, trying to keep your expression neutral.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes,” you mumbled.

“Did I step on your foot or something?”

Your head felt like it was spinning from this new realization. How had it never occurred to you before? Sure, it had crossed your mind once or twice, but it had never seemed so apparent as when you had seen Josh smiling at you. It was like you were seeing him for the first time all over again, but this time was different.

Because you knew you loved him.

You wanted to run out of the room and put as much distance between you and him as you could. You wanted him out of your sight and out of your mind so that Beau was the only thing left for you to think about. He was your boyfriend. Your rock. Your love.

Your loyalty.

Tyler’s words weighed down on your chest and suddenly the room felt like it was too much. Too hot. Too full of people. Your feet started to pull away from Josh, but you knew that no matter where you went, you would never feel as safe as you did now, wrapped in Josh’s arms.

“Sorry, no,” you answered, suddenly remembering that Josh had asked you a question. “I just- there’s a lot in my head.”

“Do you want to sit?”

“No. No, I want to stay here.”

And that’s what you did. You leaned into him, letting your head rest on his chest right above his heart. He tensed at first, unsure what to do with this new form of contact, but he slowly eased into it and wrapped his arms a little tighter around you. You closed your eyes and let yourself relax, taking in the warmth of his hands and steady beat of his heart.

“Are you ok, Y/N?” Josh whispered.

His voice was close to your ear, sending a chill down your spine. You held back the shiver that wanted to accompany it, unwilling to let him know just how much of an effect he was having on you.

“I’m ok,” you answered, finally opening your eyes and leaning back to look at him. “I’m just not sure what I’m doing.”

“You’re dancing,” he smiled.

“Not entirely what I meant, but thank you for the reminder.”

“Anytime.”

You managed to catch Jenna’s eye while you were dancing. She shot you a look while Josh’s back was turned, which Tyler took notice of, prompting him to turn towards you as well. He gave you a thumbs up and turned to Jenna, giggling like a child.

Now smiling like an idiot yourself, you turned to meet Josh’s eyes. There was a familiar look of admiration and love in his eyes that was enough to make your face hot. Based on the way Josh’s ears were a dusty shade of pink, you wondered if that same look was in your eyes right now.

You couldn’t deny it anymore: there was a choice to be made, and the outcome wasn’t going to be pretty.

* * *

You closed the front door behind you and immediately kicked off your heels, happy to be out of them after standing around at the wedding all day. As much as you loved to be all dressed up with your friends, it never quite beat coming home and changing into pajamas to be with someone you love.

Or, in this case, someone you loved.

The thought of the conversation you were about to have with Beau sent a chill down your spine, but thankfully he wasn’t around to see it. In fact, you weren’t entirely sure where he was. He usually stayed up and waited for you if you were out late, but the downstairs was dark and empty.

“Beau?” you called as you crept towards the kitchen.

“Lovey?” His answer was instantaneous. “Is that you?”

“Yes! I’m in the kitchen.”

A few moments later, you heard Beau’s footsteps echoing through the upstairs hallway. While you waited for him, you grabbed yourself a glass of water and chugged it in one go. It was gone before he even made it to the bottom of the stairs.

“Look at you!” he grinned, holding his arms out. “You look gorgeous.”

“Thank you. One of Jenna’s friends did my makeup.”

Beau snaked his arms around your waist and pulled you into him. You set the glass down behind him and rested your hands on his shoulders, using them as a way to keep him away rather than pull him closer.

“I wish I could have been there to see you in the wedding party and everything with the other girls. I’m sure you all looked so pretty.”

“I know, but Tyler and Jenna didn’t allow plus ones for the bridal party,” you said, putting on what you hoped looked like a disappointed expression.

“There will be plenty more weddings for us to go to together, lovey,” he said, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Soon enough, it will be ours.”

The room started to spin in an instant. Beau had brought up marriage before, but never quite like this. The thought of marrying him put a sour taste in your mouth and you found yourself wishing it was Josh’s arms around you instead of Beau’s. Nothing troubled you when you were close to him.

“About that, Beau,” you said, starting to push him away from you. “I really don’t think-”

“Think what? That you’re ready for marriage?”

“Not that. I think it would be better for us if we-”

“Lovey,” he said, reaching up to run a hand along your jaw. “We don’t have to rush into anything. I was just romanticizing, you know I want you to be comfortable no matter what we do.”

Comfortable. Right.

“Beau, can you please just listen to me?”

“What?”

You swore that anger flashed across his face for a moment, but your decision had been made and you didn’t want to back down now.

“I think we need to break up.”

Beau watched you for a moment before he began to smile and shake his head. You felt your heart sinking as you watched his expression slowly lighten to amusement.

“Come on, lovey, I bet you’re just tired. Let’s get you upstairs and into bed.”

You let Beau wrap an arm around you and lead you up the stairs, feeling defeated. Obviously you were going to have to find a different way to get through to him and let him know you were serious, but that would be a battle for a different day. There was no way anything was going to happen tonight after that exchange.

It’s like he knew the perfect way to take any ounce of confidence out of you.

“Why don’t you take a shower and then we can get in bed and watch a movie, does that sound alright?”

“Yes. Thanks, Beau,” you muttered.

He pressed a kiss to your cheek and left you to shuffle across the room towards the bathroom.

After gathering everything you needed for your shower, you made sure to close and lock the door. You didn’t want Beau to try and come in to start something that you knew you wouldn’t be able to go through with. Shuddering at the fact, you took all of the bobby pins out of your pulled up hair and watched it fall down little by little. As you stared at yourself in the mirror, you looked over your face slowly, trying to figure out how you got here. You had a lot of good things that had happened in your life, but you were living with a man that made you unhappy and it had taken you this long to figure it out. You clenched your jaw, trying to get the sick feeling in your stomach to go away before turning and switching on the water so that you could wait for it to get warm.

Reaching behind yourself, you unzipped the back of your dress and stepped out of it along with your undergarments shortly after. Just as you were about to step into the shower, you heard voices on the other side of the door which made you quirk a brow. There was no one else in the house with you and Beau, so you just assumed that it was the television that he had turned on in order to prep for the movie you both planned on watching later.

You shook your head to clear your thoughts of anything Beau related and stepped underneath the warm and relaxing stream of water. You shut the shower door behind you and then closed your eyes, letting the water wash away all of your doubts and worries. Instead, your mind drifted to better and more pleasant thoughts such as dancing with Josh that night. The feeling of his hands on your hips and being close enough to hear the rhythm of his heart and smell his cologne was something that you could easily get used to. A small smile appeared on your lips without you noticing as his face was all you saw now. You wanted his laugh to fill every silence, his smile to brighten every day and his hands to fill the empty space within your own.

You wanted him.

After finishing up your shower, you made sure to get changed into your most comfortable pajamas and did your nightly routine before exiting the bathroom. Beau had a movie on the screen, but he had fallen asleep in his spot. You stared at his form for a moment, shaking your head, then made your way over to the bed. You laid down in your spot and tried to stay as far away from him as you possibly could, covering your body with the blankets and wrapping them around you like a burrito. You wanted as little body contact as possible with him. You turned onto your side, back facing Beau, as you stared at the wall ahead - wracking your brain on what you could do to break up with him and make him understand. Everything felt hopeless.


	10. December 2016 - Before Leg Three of the Emotional Roadshow

Parking your car in the driveway of Josh’s home, you got out and instantly got hit by the freezing winds that had formed. December was always miserable in Ohio and you wanted nothing more than to curl up in front of a fire with a big blanket wrapped over you, but you had promised the boys and Jenna that you would be present tonight in order to help decorate the interior of Josh’s house. He, thankfully, had done the exterior not too long ago and it looked beautiful. The bright lights shone down on your face as you hurried over to his front porch and knocked on the door.

Bouncing a little bit to stay warm and wrapping your arms around yourself, you waited only a few moments before the door was opened up to reveal a familiar smile in front of you.

“Hurry inside! You’ll get sick!” Josh exclaimed and ushered you in, closing the door behind you, as you were greeted by Tyler and Jenna happily.

You smiled widely and waved, looking over to see how adorable the both of them looked in their matching ugly sweaters. It wasn’t even Christmas yet, but they showed their spirit as often as they could that month. Suddenly, a pair of warm and strong arms wrapped around you from behind and they belonged to the one person that you wanted to be hugged by. You smiled and looked over your shoulder, realizing instantly how close he actually was to you and blushing almost instantly.

“Thank you for coming! We have the tree and it just needs to be decorated,” he exclaimed, trying to brush off what he had just done as if it were no big deal. He let you go and then scurried over to said tree, reaching into a big box he had to pull out some ornaments. You slowly took off your coat to let it hang on the back of the nearest couch and saw Tyler and Jenna smirking in your direction, which caused you to roll your eyes. Making your way over in their direction, you stood beside Jenna and nudged her a bit before the both of you started giggling and helping to put some ornaments on the tree with little help from Tyler. He was too busy trying to get the Christmas music on to liven the mood more than it was. 

After a bit of time, Jenna gasped and caused everyone to look in her direction as if they were worried something was wrong with her. She quickly waved her hand to shoo away any worries.

“I forgot about the goodies! Y/N, come and help me!” she yelled and grabbed your arm, dragging you into the kitchen while you nearly tripped over things on the floor; causing Josh and Tyler to laugh.

After Jenna let go of your arm, she hurried over to the fridge and got out her necessary ingredients to start making the cookie dough mix. She looked over to you with a smile and pointed to the cabinets.

“Can you get me a few mixing bowls?”

“Of course!” you replied. It was obvious that she had brought everything over, because there was no way that Josh just had the correct things lying around his home.

Getting what she needed, you placed the bowls down on the counter beside her, receiving a thanks on her end. The both of you got to work on the cookies, wanting to make them extra tasty for the boys, and got into a small conversation about the upcoming holidays. When you got to thinking, what you were doing… it was almost as if you and Josh were in a relationship already. You were baking for him - and Tyler a little -, spending time in his home, and helping him decorate.

Isn’t that mostly what girlfriends do?

“What has you so happy?” Jenna asked upon noticing the smile on your face.

You glanced over to where the boys were standing near the tree, engrossed in their own activity. Tyler was standing on one arm of Josh’s couch, leaning over to put an ornament towards the top of the tree. Josh was beneath him with his arms out, just in case he fell. Tyler never fell though, you had learned that a long time ago.

“I’m just thinking,” you said, measuring out the ingredients that Jenna had put in front of you.

“About?”

“What life would be like if… you know. Him and I were to-”

“Say no more,” Jenna grinned as she added an egg to the cookie dough. “I understand you loud and clear.”

“Yeah,” you sighed.

“I take it things with Beau aren’t going well?”

You rolled your eyes, “Not at all. I’ve tried to end things at least five times since your wedding, but he just won’t listen. He always derails the conversation or pretends that he never heard me in the first place. I’m starting to think that I’m stuck in a relationship that I’ll never get out of.”

“You know, there’s always legal options… if it comes to that. The three of us are going to have your back.”

“I know, it’s just,” you sighed, “I don’t want to jeopardize the boys by bringing some giant legal matter onto their radar. Their career is really starting to pick up and I would hate to bring an end to that just because I can’t handle my stupid boyfriend.”

Jenna set down the spoon that she was stirring with and turned to face you, a serious expression now covering her face.

“Listen, I know that those two - idiotic as they may be - would much rather have you safe and happy, even if it meant a hit to their career. You’ve experienced firsthand what their fanbase is like, Y/N, they’re not going to ditch them anytime soon. And you and I both know that Josh would love to see you get rid of this guy.”

“He’s been wanting to see Beau gone since I met him four years ago.”

Four years ago. Had it really been that long since Josh came into your life?

“Just another reason to kick him to the curb.”

“I guess.”

Your conversation was interrupted by the boys wandering into the kitchen, carefully eyeing the bowl of cookie dough in front of Jenna. Josh hung around the far side of the counter, but Tyler was bold enough to come striding over and stick his finger straight into the bowl, earning him a swat from Jenna.

“You didn’t wash your hands!” she groaned. 

“My hands are spotless,” he said, making a show of licking the cookie dough off his finger.

Jenna only shook her head and went back to adding chocolate chips to the bowl. Tyler sauntered over behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder. When she was distracted by him, he reached forward and swiped another glob of dough onto his fingers.

“Tyler!” she giggled. “Stop that!”

You couldn’t help but smile when Tyler pressed a kiss to her cheek. Over a year of marriage and they were still acting like the same lovesick children they were when they met. It gave you hope that one day, that might be you too.

Now that Jenna and Tyler were distracted by one another, Josh came wandering over and leaned against the counter next to you. He crossed his arms in front of him, making them even harder to ignore than usual.

“It seems like decorating the tree went well,” you smiled, meeting his eyes to avoid your own from wandering somewhere else.

“I would say so, aside from when Tyler nearly fell straight on top of me.”

“Hey, at least nothing ended up broken.”

“Yet.”

Josh laughed and shook his head. You stared for a moment, letting yourself take in the crinkles around his eyes and the few strands of pink hair that were framing his face. He noticed you staring and raised his eyebrows, making you turn away.

“Want to try some cookie dough?” you mumbled, already reaching for two spoons that were sitting out on the corner.

You scooped up two sizable globs of cookie dough with the spoons, handing one to Josh.

“Cheers?” he asked.

“Cheers.”

You clinked your spoons together and took a bite of cookie dough. It was easily the best recipe you had ever tried, thanks to Jenna. She wasn’t kidding when she said baking was one of her talents.

“This is amazing,” Josh nodded. “Great job, Y/N.”

“Yeah, I really helped,” you snorted.

Josh laughed and bumped you with his elbow. You simply ducked out of his way, stumbling a little in the process.

You giggled, “Guess I’ve had a little too much eggnog.”

“Ok! Ok. Boys out of the kitchen,” Jenna said. You turned to see that she had broken out of Tyler’s grasp and was now standing in front of the oven, waving her arms at all of you. “You interrupted our moment earlier.”

“Your moment?” Tyler asked.

“Yes. Our moment. Now get out of here so we can continue it.”

Tyler made a show of leaving the kitchen, making sure to drag his feet and sigh dramatically now and again. Josh followed behind him and gave him reassuring pats on the back, still holding his cookie dough in his free hand.

Leaning against the counter, you watched the boys leave - your sole focus being on Josh. Shaking your head to rattle yourself out of a small daydream you were having, you suddenly came to the realization that eyes were burning into you. Your head slowly turned to the side to face Jenna, who was staring in your direction with a giant smirk.

“Girl, you have it bad.” She wiggled her eyebrows, causing you to laugh.

“Jenna, stop!” you responded with a light push to her arm.

The both of you turned back to your previous task of now placing the cookie dough onto the tinfoil covered trays and putting them inside the oven once it was preheated. Now that the both of you had a little time to spare, you would be able to get in that famous girl talk that the both of you were known for. Josh and Tyler knew full well that if they ever interrupted your girl talk time, there would be hell to pay… mostly from Jenna. She was sweet as pie, but she had her moments where she invoked wrath.

“So, are you going to tell me your true feelings now about the Little Drummer Boy in there?” That sentence alone made you roll your eyes harder than you ever had before, as the reference was ridiculous, but you couldn’t help but smirk.

“I honestly wish I knew what they were. I mean… I know that I like him. A lot. But, there’s just so much going on with Beau and he won’t take a hint that I want to break up with him. I really want Josh to be happy and he deserves it, but am I really making him happy here? Stringing him along while I’m dating someone?” you spoke softly, so that the boys wouldn’t be able to eavesdrop. Jenna just sighed and took your hands in her own.

“Y/N… what you have right now? It’s not a relationship. You both are just existing in the same space. There’s no love there. You have a guy in the next room over that would give you the world. He’s waited this long for you. He’s not going to leave now,” Jenna spoke in a similar soft tone.

Tears started to sting at your eyes as they brimmed up, threatening to spill over and down your cheeks. Sniffling slightly, you squeezed her hands and nodded slowly to her, knowing full well that she had never been more right. You pulled one another in for a huge hug and stayed there for a few moments before pulling away as she checked your makeup for smears. Once you were both good, you giggled a bit together and linked arms, heading back into the living room to see the tree all finished. Josh was just putting the finishing touch on the tree: the star. You and Jenna sat on the couch to watch in awe, her sitting beside Tyler and leaving an open space beside you. The four of you gasped as the light of the star turned on after Josh had plugged it in and you all clapped happily at the sight. Josh came out from behind the tree with a goofy grin and bowed before he made his way over and sat beside you on the couch… a little closer than you thought he would. 

Swallowing hard, you could tell that something was different about his demeanor. Something was off. Was he nervous? Tyler and Jenna hadn’t seemed to notice as they chatted with one another while looking on his cellphone at something funny. Josh’s leg bounced in its spot and his hand tapped on his upper thigh as if beating an imaginary drum, causing you to quirk an eyebrow in his direction.

“You okay there, Dun?” you asked softly, seemingly concerned for him.

“Y-Yeah… I, um, was hoping that we could talk, maybe?” He wouldn’t look at you.

“Of course.”

With that, Josh quickly got up and motioned for you to follow him, and you did so, heading around to the back part of the house in the hallway. He obviously wanted to get out of earshot of the grinning couple that had remained on the couch behind you. Now standing awkwardly with him, you could tell that he was having a hard time with whatever he was about to say and it made your heart start pounding in your chest. 

“So…” he started and you let out a breath of air to silently thank him for breaking the tension. “…Tyler and I have the Grammys coming up and we’ve been nominated for an award. I was wondering if maybe you’d want to come with me - us. Come with us.” He stumbled through his words and it caused a big smile to play on your lips.

“I would love to, Josh.” Finally, he looked up to you with a smile that matched the size of your own, suddenly seeming much more confident.

“Great! We’ll talk more about it later and I’ll give you the details,” he said happily and you nodded to him, starting to walk with him back into the living room.

The both of you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw Jenna and Tyler standing there with smug looks on their faces. Josh seemed just as confused as you did. Before you were about to say something to question it, Tyler just pointed up above you to show a newly placed mistletoe decoration. You and Josh stared at it for a few moments, before both of your faces flushed bright red.

“You have to do it. It’s tradition,” Tyler grinned and nudged Jenna, who was giggling a bit. 

Josh looked over to you with a look of fear, not sure what he should actually do in this situation. You decided to take the initiative with what little courage you had and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on his cheek, before hurrying to your spot on the couch. Josh stood there for a few moments, dazed, and had a very brief look of love that crossed his face. He tried to hide it, but the grin that was permanently on his lips betrayed him.

You were too nervous to meet his eyes when he took a seat next to you on the couch once again, instead opting to rope Jenna into a conversation so you had an excuse to keep your attention elsewhere. Even as the two of you sat discussing the latest episode of your favorite TV show, your mind wouldn’t stop its endless loop of the kiss you had just given Josh. It had been brief, but the feeling of his cheek against your lips was enough to have your hands shaking. Thankfully, your oversized sweater - and Jenna eventually dragging you back to the kitchen - proved to be enough to hide it.

You just hoped that Josh was willing to wait a little longer.


	11. February 2017 - The Grammys

You couldn’t stop staring at yourself in the mirror as the stylist did the finishing touches on your hair. It was definitely a new experience for you, to be doted on by makeup artists and stylists, but it was something you could see yourself getting used to. The final product - in this case: you - was stunning to say the least.

Next to you, Jenna was pulling on her heels. The bright yellow of her dress kept catching your eye as she moved around the room, occasionally being stopped by her own stylists as they noticed little details that were out of place.

“Ok, you’re done,” the stylist smiled, resting a hand on your shoulder.

You turned your head slightly, admiring the waves in your hair and the elegant bun that the top half had been pulled into. The last time you had felt this beautiful was Jenna and Tyler’s wedding, and that had been years ago.

“Thank you so much,” you smiled, turning to the stylist. “My hair looks gorgeous.”

“You look gorgeous,” she said, returning your grin.

You grabbed your own heels from nearby and pulled them on before getting out of the chair that had been carried into the bathroom for this occasion. Slowly, you hobbled your way over to where Jenna was standing on her phone. Heels had never been your first choice of shoe, even for formal events, but you figured an exception had to be made for the Grammys.

“Are the boys ready?” you asked.

“Just about,” Jenna answered, not looking up from her phone. “But I want to get a couple pictures of us before we head downstairs to meet them.”

She finally looked up from her phone, getting her first proper glance at you. Her eyes lit up as she took in your appearance, from the glossy nude lipstick to your earrings.

“Y/N!” she gasped. “Look at you!”

“Look at me? Look at you!” you said, reaching out to rest a hand on her arm.

“Look at us!” she giggled, turning both of you towards the mirror.

Your eyes widened as you looked at your reflection standing next to Jenna’s. It was weird to see the two of you dressed up like this after so many nights spent at her house in sweatpants with your hair thrown into messy buns. You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling.

“We look like a couple of highlighters,” you said.

“You heard Tyler, we have to wear yellow dresses.”

“What an interesting choice.”

“Hey, at least you’ll match Josh’s hair. Here, let’s take a couple pictures.”

Jenna pulled out her phone and together the two of you cycled through a variety of poses as Jenna took pictures. Even before seeing the final result, you knew at least a few of them would end up framed in your house.

“Alright, enough fun. We should get downstairs before Tyler has a fit.”

You linked arms with Jenna and allowed her to lead you out into the hall. Even from the bedroom, you could hear the commotion downstairs from the boys and their own stylists. Your heart was pounding from the anticipation of seeing Josh all dressed up in a suit again, as well as what had happened the last time he was in a suit.

Jenna stopped you right in your tracks as you reached the corner that led to the stairs. You nearly ran straight into her, you had been so wrapped up in your own head.

“Hey, Ty!”

“Yeah?”

“Josh?”

“What’s up?”

“Are you ready to see us?”

The boys both called back excitedly. Jenna turned to you with a smile before once again leading you down the stairs.

Your eyes automatically went to Josh, who was standing near the bottom of the stairs with his hands clasped behind his back. His suit was tailored perfectly to his frame, and his bright yellow hair looked amazing paired with the plain black and white fabric. You swore that your breath caught a little in your throat when he started smiling.

Jenna automatically went to Tyler and started gushing over him, to which Tyler did the same in return, so you casually made your way to Josh. Even while he was smiling, his mouth was hanging partially open in awe at you.

“Wow,” he said, once you were only a few feet away from him. “You look… wow.”

“Thanks,” you grinned. “I wouldn’t have this dress if it weren’t for you.”

Josh shook his head, “I was just helping because you haven’t been to an awards show before. I didn’t really-”

“Josh, I mean it. And you don’t look half bad yourself, you know.”

Josh finally quieted down and cast his gaze to the floor. His ears had already turned that all-too-familiar shade of pink.

“I, um, got you something,” he finally said.

Your eyebrows shot up, “You got me something?”

“Yeah, you know, because… well, we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you helping us when we were first starting out. And now I’m dragging you along as my date… I just thought I should get you something.”

Josh dug something out of one of his inner jacket pockets and handed it to you. The moment you saw that it was a velvet box, you felt all the color drain from your face.

“Josh… you didn’t.”

“I did,” he grinned.

You pressed your lips together and slowly opened the box, revealing one of the most gorgeous necklaces you had ever seen. It was a simple silver chain with a small diamond at the end; it was prettier - and more expensive - than anything Beau had ever given you. Josh watched as you carefully pulled the necklace out of the box.

“Do you like it?”

“Like it? Josh, this is gorgeous.”

“Here, I’ll help you put it on.”

Josh took the necklace from your hand and you spun around so that he could help, using one hand to carefully pull your hair out of the way. His fingers ever so slightly brushed against the back of your neck as he closed the clasp, very nearly giving you goosebumps all down your arms.

“Thank you,” you smiled as you spun back around. “For the necklace and for helping me put it on, it’s beautiful.”

“I’m glad.”

“Hey, I hate to ruin your moment,” Tyler said, “but our ride is here and we can’t be late.”

“Right,” Josh said, turning to his friend. “You have everything, Y/N?”

You grabbed your purse and rested a hand on Josh’s outstretched arm. “Yep, I’m ready.”

Tyler smiled, “Then let’s get this party started.”

* * *

The beginning of the night had become a blur to you. As soon as you had exited out of the vehicle that brought you to the awards ceremony, you were bombarded by people shouting at you and blinded by constant flashing lights. This was not a life that you were used to and it seemed as though Josh wasn’t either, as he made his way down the red carpet with you - Tyler and Jenna in tow. You looked over your shoulder to see that the two lovebirds were easily fitting into the scene, but when you looked back to the yellow-haired beauty beside you, it was easy to see that he was anxious. Walking to his side, you placed a hand on his arm and he looked down to you with a small smile, as though he had instantly been put at ease.

“Josh, your bowtie is looking a little crooked. Mind if I fix it?”

“No, go right ahead.”

Smiling back to him, he turned toward you as you reached your hands up to fix his bowtie. You could feel his eyes staring over your face, but you refused to look up at him just yet. Once you were done adjusting it to make sure it sat just right, you decided to let your gaze move up to settle on his chocolate brown eyes. They had a way of immediately captivating you with their depth and his warm smile pulled you in. Just then, a series of flashes appeared and you just knew that that moment had been captured by the paparazzi. That could be a really bad thing in hindsight, but you didn’t seem to care in that moment. You just started to go with the flow from then on, your confidence rubbing off onto Josh.

“I think that we should really get them going,” you started, a grin appearing on your lips as you spoke as Josh stared at you, a bit concerned by what you had in store. “Let’s just give them a bunch of poses. They’ll eat it up.”

Earning a laugh from Josh, he nodded in agreement and then the both of you decided to pull out every pose in the book. Anything from silly, to serious, to happy and then to… nearly romantic. Tyler and Jenna had seen what the both of you had planned and even decided to join in for a few of the shots. At the end of the carpet, you all were laughing and having a good time with one another, waiting a few moments before going inside. You decided that now was the best time to give the boys a pep talk.

“Once we go in there and settle in, the awards are going to start. So, I just wanted to take the time now to let you know what an amazing and crazy ride it has been being your manager. You guys deserve this nomination and you especially deserve an award. You’re amazing and I… I love the both of you. Really.”

This earned “aw”s from all three of them, causing you to laugh as Tyler pulled all of you in for a group hug.

Josh looked down to you with a smile after all of you had pulled away, "You’re special to us, Y/N. You know that I lo- we love you too.”

You, Tyler and Jenna all stared at him with quirked eyebrows for a few moments as his face progressively turned as red as a tomato. You weren’t quite sure if what he had just said was a confession or accidental, but regardless, your heart was pounding in your chest.

“Come on, guys. Let’s go find our seats,” Jenna pointed out and dragged Tyler inside, with you and Josh following behind shyly.

Aside from some issues finding your seats and a brief debate about what order the four of you would be sitting in, the award show was going smoothly. Josh had seemingly relaxed now that there weren’t photographers at every corner, pulling his attention in every which way. Although you were hesitant to admit it, you were enjoying the lack of eyes on you too. It was nice to not have to worry about every touch or glance you shared with Josh being caught by cameras and misconstrued on Twitter.

Tyler leaned over and whispered something in Josh’s ear, which he responded to with a nod. You elbowed him lightly in the side to grab his attention.

“What?” he whispered.

“What was that about?” you asked, nodding your own head in Tyler’s direction.

“He said he thinks one of the awards we’re up for is after this one.”

“Nervous?”

Josh’s mouth curled up into a partial smile, “Yeah.”

Your conversation was interrupted by the room bursting into applause for whoever had just finished giving their speech. You watched as the artist walked off stage and the next set of presenters walked up on stage. Next to you, you could see Josh’s breathing pick up a little.

“Hey, it’s going to be ok,” you said, reaching over to rest your hand on his forearm.

Josh turned and looked at you. His eyebrows were pulled together in concern and worry was written all over his handsome features. Despite never saying a word, both of you knew exactly what the other was thinking. It was just how you and Josh worked.

You kept your hand on Josh’s arm while the presenters did their little intro. Beside Josh, you could see Tyler’s leg nervously bouncing. Jenna had one of her hands wrapped around his arm.

“And the award for best pop duo or group performance goes to…”

Josh moved his arm so that your palms were now pressed together. His fingers slid between yours and curled around your hand. Yours instantly did the same in response, as if this was the hundredth time Josh had held your hand and it was second nature by now. His grip was tight, but you hardly noticed. You were so busy trying to figure out what was going on that you nearly missed the announcement of the winner.

“Twenty One Pilots for their performance in Stressed Out.”

The room erupted in applause once again. Cameras were on the four of you in an instant, monitoring your reaction to the award win. The boys and Jenna had already stood up, so you were quick to follow suit. Josh pulled you into a hug the moment you were on your feet.

“Congrats,” you whispered in his ear, hoping he could hear it over the cheering around you.

“Couldn’t have done it without you,” he answered before pulling away.

You watched as Josh carefully stepped past Jenna, unable to keep the smile off your face as you thought of how far they had come. It seemed like just yesterday that they were playing shows in front of tiny crowds, and now they were accepting an award in front of some of the most influential musicians in the industry. A few tears were even starting to pool in your eyes.

And then you noticed Josh starting to unbuckle his pants.

At least, that’s what you thought you were seeing. It wasn’t until he pulled them down over his legs that you confirmed that that was, in fact, exactly what he was doing. On live television. In front of thousands of people. You looked to Jenna, gauging what kind of reaction you should be having in this situation, but she was acting completely unaffected by this entire chain of events.

As soon as the cameras were off of you, you stepped towards her and leaned close to her ear. “What is happening?”

“This has been their plan for years,” she answered.

“To accept a Grammy in their underwear?”

Jenna grinned, “Exactly.”

You nodded and scooted back towards your chair.

As the boys made their way up to the stage, Josh in his black boxers and Tyler in his striped ones, your eyes were glued to one person in particular. Obviously it wasn’t Tyler, because that would just be weird, but the snack next to him was the eye candy that you needed. Initially, you thought this to be a bad idea… but the more that you watched as Josh stood there speaking into the microphone - also making you very proud of him - it was more of a blessing in disguise. Thank goodness the cameras weren’t on you and Jenna anymore or else they would zoom in on the drool that you felt almost escape your lips. Your best friend knew you all too well and occasionally would look your direction to see how you reacted to seeing Josh up on stage. Once their speech was over, they picked up their pants and walked offstage with their award so that the ceremony could continue.

* * *

Once the award show’s festivities wrapped up for the night, you and Jenna were finally able to properly congratulate the boys for their accomplishments.

“I’m so proud of you two!” you shouted out to Josh and Tyler, big smiles plastered on their faces. Jenna laughed and nodded in agreement, giving Tyler a big hug and kiss on the lips.

“I knew that you and Josh would be able to do it, Ty.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you, Josh and Y/N. You guys really helped me through the processes and kept me grounded,” he replied.

Your eyes teared up at Tyler’s kind words and you then felt a pair of strong, warm arms wrap around you. Looking up, you saw that it was Josh giving you the nicest hug you’d ever received. Finding yourself not wanting to leave that spot, you slightly leaned into his embrace but didn’t get to enjoy it before Tyler chimed in.

“Come on, guys! We should head out. We have that after party to get to, right?”

“Yeah! Let’s go!” Josh exclaimed.

Removing his arms, to your dismay, and taking hold of your hand as he had earlier that evening, he started leading the way back to your ride. The driver would know just how to get there. You couldn’t help but feel a sinking feeling in your stomach as you thought about Josh having one too many drinks later to celebrate. You’d never had to deal with drunk Josh before and didn’t know what would come of it. There have been many accounts of drunks spilling their feelings or doing things that they regret. Now that you thought more on it, you were scared that you were going to get too drunk. You would definitely hold out on the liquor this time. Piling into the car, you all took turns admiring the award and taking selfies with one another. It was one thing to act like children in public, but it was more than allowed in secret.


	12. February 2017 - After The Grammys After Party

“Do you think he’s going to be ok?” Jenna asked quietly.

You looked over at Josh, who was currently passed out on the Josephs’ couch. It had only been a few minutes since you got back to the house, but it had been the perfect amount of time for Josh to get comfortable and pass out. That wasn’t really a surprise to you, though. After a few too many drinks at the after party and a night of shenanigans, the sickness and exhaustion was finally hitting him.

“I hope so,” you said, turning back to Jenna.

“Should we call him an Uber?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you sighed. “He might puke in the backseat.”

“Then what do we do?”

“Let me talk to him.”

You walked over and took a seat on the couch near Josh. As gently as you could, you started to push at Josh’s shoulder, hoping it was enough to wake him up. After a few seconds, he slowly blinked his eyes open and turned to look at you.

“Did I fall asleep?” he asked.

“Yeah, you did.”

“Am I at Tyler’s?”

“Yeah.” He sighed and dropped his head back to the couch. “How are you feeling, Josh? We need to get you home.”

“Terrible.” You pursed your lips, trying to decide what to do from here on out. Before you had a chance to make a decision, Josh spoke again. “Can you take care of me?”

“What?” you asked, unsure that you had heard him correctly.

“Can you take care of me?”

“What, like take you home?”

“And stay with me.”

“Josh, I have to get home to Beau at some point.”

Josh made an audible noise of disgust. You barely managed to hold back a laugh, even though you knew it was wrong.

“You don’t have to stay all night,” he mumbled. “Just a little while. Please.”

You turned to look at Jenna for some sort of reassurance, but she had disappeared. The decision was up to you and you alone, it seemed. To be fair, Josh did seem like he was in pretty bad shape and Beau didn’t know how long Grammy after parties went on…

“Ok, but I can’t stay long.”

“You’re coming?” Josh asked, the excitement in his voice was obvious.

“Only for a little.”

“Ok.”

“Alright, you stay right here. I’m going to go tell Jenna and Tyler what’s going on.”

You found the two of them in the kitchen, having a quiet conversation while Jenna drank some water. They turned to you as you walked in the room.

“How is he doing?” Tyler asked.

“Still bad, but I’m going to take him home and stay with him for a little while so you two don’t have to deal with him.”

“Oh, you are?” Tyler asked, raising his eyebrows. Beside him, Jenna was smiling against the rim of her cup.

“Just to make sure he doesn’t get sick or injure himself. Shouldn’t you be thanking me because I’m taking him off your hands?” you laughed.

“Thank you,” Jenna smiled, briefly shooting a look at her husband. “If he gets to be too much, just give one of us a call and we can come over, ok?”

“I will. Anyway, we should probably get out of here.”

“Not before you hug me!” Jenna said, setting her cup down and walking around the counter.

She gave you a big hug before handing you off to Tyler. He was still smirking as he held his arms out to you.

“Congrats again,” you said as you hugged him. “You two deserve it. And thank you for letting me come along on this crazy ride.”

“We couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Alright, now let’s go get that idiot in the car.”

* * *

Twenty minutes later, you were standing in the entryway of Josh’s house with one arm looped around his middle. It had been awhile since the last time you were here, mostly because it was a fight with Beau anytime you told him you were going over. In fact, the last time you had been here was the night Josh asked you to be his “date” to the Grammys in the first place.

“You remember where the bedroom is?” Josh asked, putting an end to your reminiscing.

Taking a deep breath as you set your purse and keys down onto his end table by the door, you nodded your head in response to him with a slight laugh.

“I don’t think so… I wasn’t really given a tour the last time I was here, but I think that I’ll manage.”

Josh made a face and then slowly followed you down the hall, his feet dragging slightly due to how plastered he was, making it all the more difficult to hold him up, but you managed. Upon entering his bedroom, you turned on the light and looked around a bit at the surprisingly normal walls and decor. You had half expected his room to be a fanboy shrine to any of his favorite drummers. In that moment, you supposed it to be a silly thought as he wasn’t a teenager. Shaking your head and smirking a bit, you continued with him over to his bed. Letting out a sigh, you plopped him down on the side and moved your arms a bit to release the tension that had built up in your shoulders.

“Okay, Dun. Come on now. You need to get changed into your pajamas. That looks like something you may have worn last night.” You point to some folded up clothes at the end of his bed as he glanced with half open eyes. “Just use those. I’ll be in the hall while you change." 

You turned on your heel and then left his bedroom, closing the door behind you, despite his whining and complaining of needing help. There was no way that you were going to willingly undress him and help him into his clothes outside of your job and pay grade. Not that you wouldn’t want to, but it would just be torture knowing that you both can’t do anything about it.

After a few moments of leaning against the wall, you heard Josh call your name and decided to open the door again to see him now laying down on the bed in his pajamas. Thankfully, he wasn’t shirtless, so this made things a bit easier on you. Just a tee and his sweatpants.

"How are you doing? Feeling okay? I can bring the garbage can over if you need to throw up. I can even get you some water.”

“No… no, I’m okay. I just need to rest right now. Thank you for helping me home, Y/N. I don’t think I could’ve done it without you.” He gave you a smile.

With a laugh, you shook your head and crossed your arms across your chest, “Oh, it’s fine! You would’ve done the same for me. I should probably go home now, though.”

With that being said, Josh sat up and looked at you with a pout, “Going home? You don’t think that you can stay for a little while? Maybe to just… relax and lay in bed with me to watch TV?”

You sighed, “Josh, I don’t think that I -”

“Please.”

Fighting internally with yourself for a bit, you decided against your better judgement to stay. “Okay, fine. But, only for a while! I don’t want Beau to worry.”

Josh made a face at your remark, but then nodded his head and sighed as he looked over your clothes. “Are you going to wear that? I have some extra clothes if you want to change into them to be comfortable.”

Looking down to your clothes that you had changed into after the awards ceremony, you figured that he was probably right about not being comfortable in them. Taking him up on his offer, you walked over to his dresser and pulled some fresh joggers and a tee out from the drawer.

“You get whatever movie you want on. I’m going to change in the bathroom,” you stated and Josh responded to you with a nod. Taking a deep breath, you walked into the bathroom across the hall and closed the door behind you, remembering to lock it up. Changing out of your clothes and into his, you stared at yourself for a moment in the mirror and just looked over how you looked. You had to admit that you often thought about times like this with him… although, it usually didn’t involve Beau in the mix. Lifting some of the shirt up, you sniffed it a bit and thought you could vaguely smell Josh’s cologne on it, even after it had been washed.

Clearing your throat and shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you made your way back into his room with your clothes folded up neatly in a pile, now being placed on the floor. You closed his door and then looked over to the television, seeing X-Files playing on the screen, causing you to smirk and roll your eyes. Of course he was watching that. You made your way to the unoccupied side of the bed and then slowly laid down as far away as you could get. Feeling eyes on you and then hearing a slight huff shortly after, you looked over to Josh and saw him staring.

“You’re really going to lay that far from me? Do I have cooties or something, Y/N?”

You laughed and shook your head, blushing a bit to him. “It’s not that… I just don’t think that it’s really… professional.”

“Okay, you’re not my boss right now. You’re my friend. I need my friend for a while. No funny business, I promise.”

Narrowing your eyes at him, you watched as he opened his arms to you and then you scooted toward him. Getting under the covers, you moved to lay in his arms as they enveloped themselves around you. You had to admit that it was the most comfortable that you had ever been. Using Josh’s arm as a pillow, you closed your eyes in relaxation, but then felt his hand rest on your hips, causing you to tense up not because it made you feel disgusted, but because of the complete opposite. Your heart was pounding in your chest and you dared not open your eyes, because you knew that your faces were only mere inches apart. Instead, you settled on listening to his own heartbeat just as crazy as yours. And before you knew it… you were asleep.

* * *

You woke up to the sound of your alarm blasting right near your ear. That should have been the first sign that something was wrong, considering you hadn’t taken the time to set an alarm the night before, but in your tired state you simply turned it off and rolled a little further into Beau’s chest. His arms were wrapped around you, holding you close to his chest, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he wasn’t snoring. You smiled as you draped an arm over his side, letting your fingers trace idle patterns on his back.

Your alarm started blasting hardly thirty seconds later, bringing you right back from the edge of falling into a peaceful sleep. With a grumble, you reached over and grabbed your phone. Something was obviously messed up with your alarm and you needed to get to the bottom of it. Your stomach dropped the moment that you realized why your “alarm” wasn’t working. It wasn’t an alarm at all, but a phone call.

From Beau.

It only took a second for everything to come together in your head. The arms wrapped around you weren’t those of your boyfriend, but Josh, who was still fast asleep despite the numerous phone calls you had received that morning. You frantically got out of bed, no longer caring if you woke him up in the process. Your chest was heaving as you struggled to take in breath.

How the hell were you going to explain this?

The call eventually went to voicemail, giving you your first glimpse of your homescreen. It was flooded with notifications: Twitter, texts, voicemails, news articles, pretty much everything that you could think of. You scrolled through it for a moment, trying to get a hold on what was happening. Josh was still passed out on the bed.

dunlover: “look how cute y/n and josh were at the grammys together last night!! #shipped”

pilotsstan08: “you can’t tell me they aren’t together. look at the way josh is looking at her!”

tylerrrjosephsss: “get you a girl that looks at you the way y/n looks at josh”

You locked your phone and threw it down on the bed, only for it to start ringing again a few moments later. Beau’s picture was shining on the screen, smiling up at you. The mere sight of it filled your stomach with discomfort. You ignored the call and then sent him a quick text, telling him you would be home soon. He answered with a frowning face.

You frantically gathered your things and stuffed them into your purse. The sooner you got home, the less pissed that Beau was likely to be. Your mind was already racing with possibilities of what lie you could tell him to get him off your case. Maybe you could give Jenna a call and see if she would be willing to cover for you.

You were about to leave when you caught sight of Josh. He was still fast asleep, with his face pressed up into a pillow and the covers half-kicked off of his lower body. His arms were out at a weird angle from where you had previously been laying. You desperately wished that you were still there; his arms were the only place that you felt truly safe, it seemed.

You shook your head. Although your feelings for Josh were old news by now, Beau was still in the picture. There was no point in entertaining your thoughts about him as long as acting on them wasn’t an option.

After debating whether or not you should wake Josh up and let him know you were leaving, you decided on texting him later in the afternoon to explain what happened. There was a good chance that he didn’t even know you had spent the night, anyway. Not to mention that you weren’t so sure you would be able to say no if he asked you to stay just a little longer. You settled for one last glance at his sleeping form before grabbing your things and heading downstairs.

* * *

“Where the hell were you?”

You hadn’t even closed the front door yet and Beau’s voice was already raised. He was standing in the entryway, still wearing pajamas and looking like a mess. His hair was sticking up at all angles.

“At a friend’s.” Your voice sounded small. Defeated. Beau had only said one sentence to you and it wasn’t even accusatory.

“And you couldn’t let me know where you were because…?”

“I didn’t mean to stay over there. We were watching some TV and I fell asleep on the couch. I texted you as soon as I woke up.”

“Which friend?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and blinked away the tears that were already forming.

“Which friend, Y/N? Answer me.”

“Jenna and Tyler.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Yes you are. I can read it in your face, Y/N. Where were you actually?”

“It doesn’t matter,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “You don’t control who I get to spend time with.”

“I think I get to have a say if you stay out all night without telling me!”

“It was a fucking accident, Beau! I think it’s pretty bold of you to accuse me of lying when you aren’t even listening to the words coming out of my mouth!”

“You were with that Josh guy, weren’t you?” he asked, ignoring everything you had just said. “Weren’t you?”

“I wasn’t with Josh!”

“I saw the pictures, Y/N. Did you think I wouldn’t? They’re all over Twitter. It’s obvious that something is going on between you two. You’ve probably been fucking him for months by now.”

Hot tears were streaming down your face now, though it was mostly a result of anger. Infidelity had always been a weak spot for you and Beau knew that.

“There is nothing going on between me and Josh. Nothing. I have been loyal to you since we got together.”

“Oh yeah? Then why are you wearing his clothes?”

Your stomach dropped, but you tried not to let it show on your face. In your rush to leave Josh’s, you had forgotten to change out of the clothes that he had given you.

“Stop,” you muttered.

“I’m not stupid, Y/N. I’ve seen how you look at him. I’ve heard how you talk about him. I knew it from the moment that he came over here to help you pack. Why do you think I’ve always had it out for him?”

“If it’s so obvious to you, then why do you insist on staying in this relationship?”

“Because I’m helping you.” Beau’s voice had dropped back to a normal volume, but the icy undertone was still there.

“Helping me?”

“Come on, Y/N, you really think that he likes you? You know he’s just using you and will move on to the next best thing when he gets the chance. It’s all about the chase right now.”

You bit down on your lip to stop it from trembling. Tears were still streaming down your face, but you no longer cared. You let them fall.

“Josh isn’t like that,” you shook your head, desperately wanting to believe it yourself.

“Of course he is. He’s famous. That’s what all celebrities do.”

You continued to shake your head, but you couldn’t deny that Beau’s words were having an effect on you. Maybe it really was all about the chase.

“Come here,” Beau said, suddenly changing to his comforting tone. “It’s ok.”

You didn’t move, even when Beau wrapped his arms around you. His hands stroked along your hair as he talked softly to you, but you weren’t listening. His words were stuck in your head, rattling around until they were the only words you could hear.

You really think he likes you?


	13. June 2017 - Tour De Columbus

A few months had passed since the dreaded morning that you reasonably liked to call “Dunsday” instead of “Doomsday” as it had been a complete and utter disaster. Not only had you made the mistake of falling asleep with Josh in his bed, but you also had paparazzi pictures of the both of you at the awards show spread all over Twitter, Instagram, E! News and probably a thousand magazines… online and physical copies. This was not pleasing to Beau and he had made it well known. You cringed at the mere thought of what he had said as it echoed in your mind to this day. The main reason why you had cooled things down between you and Josh. Luckily, you had Tour de Columbus to worry about shortly after that. Now… it was the end of the last day and things had gone amazingly well, despite you and Josh having some tension between you yet again. And again it was your fault.

The plan had been simple that night: finish up the tour and go out to celebrate with Tyler, Josh, and some of the crew with some dinner. Unfortunately, you felt like you were starting to come down with something and didn’t want to risk getting sick. Walking over to the boys as they started prepping to leave for the night, you sighed deeply and made a face.

“I know that we’ve been planning this… but I’m really not feeling well tonight. I don’t think that I’ll be going with you guys tonight. Can we reschedule it for another day? I’ll take the both of you out for a nice lunch or something.”

They both looked to each other with disappointed glances and then back to you while nodding.

“Of course! We’ll be available any time with the hiatus coming up. Just make sure that you get better, Y/N/N,” Tyler responded and pulled you into a hug, causing you to laugh.

“Yes, Dad…” you smirked and then Josh brought you into a hug next. The first one the both of you had shared in a while - instantly making it awkward.

Clearing your throats, he rubbed the back of his neck and looked down to the ground after pulling away from the embrace. Tyler just rolled his eyes and made his way to the bus where Jenna had been waiting for him, as you and Josh were left alone to try and find out the words to say.

“T-Thank you for all of your hard work, Y/N. You know that it means a lot to Tyler and me. We couldn’t have done this without you.”

“I know. That’s why I can’t leave this band, right? You two would be hopeless without me,” you teased.

A smirk appeared on Josh’s lips as he looked back up to you and nodded his head.

“Exactly.”

After another quick exchange of a hug and a quick wave to Jenna and Tyler, you decided that it was time to go home early. You needed to just sleep in your bed and unwind after the long months of being away. Sure, you had been glad that you didn’t have to see Beau for so long, but you had to suck it up and deal with it.

* * *

Home sweet home, you thought as you pulled into your driveway to park. You had plenty of luggage to take inside with you, but you would wait until tomorrow to go through it all and clean it. You were just too tired in that moment. Getting out of the car, you grabbed your purse and got your key to the house ready, using it to open the front door. You let out a sigh and locked the door up as you threw your keys back into your purse. Your eyes looked around the room and raised an eyebrow at how eerily quiet it was, unsure as to why. You had seen Beau’s car in the driveway when you got there. Maybe he had gone upstairs to the bedroom to do some work at home? Putting your purse on the back of the couch, you made your way up the steps and toward the door. But, the closer you got… the more you heard some strange sounds coming from behind the closed door. With an eyebrow raised, you tried to decipher just what you were hearing, but then decided to just find out for yourself.

Swinging the door open, your now wide eyes were met with a horrible sight of Beau and another girl. Completely naked. He was cheating on you! You gasped loudly as your hand flew up to your mouth, causing the both of them to stop what they were doing and look toward you like deer in headlights.

“Oh my god, you creep! What the hell is your problem?!” you yelled at him.

You shook your head angrily as he quickly reached for the blankets to cover himself up.

“Wait, baby! It’s not what it looks like!”

The other girl looked just as disgusted at him as you did.

“Oh really? Did you just slip and fall into her? You and I are done. Do you hear me? Done. Don’t even think about calling or texting me. I’ll be by to collect my things later in the week,” you managed to say in as calm a manner that you could.

Storming back downstairs as you heard yelling now between the two once you left, you instantly grabbed your purse again along with a coat as it was getting colder outside with the sun down. Your vision was blurring as you slammed the front door closed and made your way to your car, hurriedly getting inside of it and leaving to get as far away from that house as you could. You needed somewhere to go. Somewhere to stay for the time being. Who would let you stay with them?

Josh.

* * *

Arriving at his house, you internally cussed at yourself as you saw his driveway was empty. Of course he wasn’t home yet. He was still out with Tyler, Jenna, and the rest of the crew celebrating. Who knew when he would be home that night? Turning off your car, you managed to grab your coat to put on and make your way to his patio steps, collapsing to sit down on them. You were tired, you were hungry, and you were angry. But mostly hurt. After all of the accusations of you cheating on him… there he was doing the very thing that he knew would hurt you, even if you didn’t love him anymore.

Grasping at your chest, your body started shaking from the sudden sobs that emitted themselves. Tears streamed down your face and the sound of your cries filled the night air. Whether they were sad tears or happy/relieved tears… you weren’t sure, but you knew that they needed to be released. You knew that, in that moment, you needed Josh. And you got your wish after what seemed like hours later. You had been crying almost the entire time and when Josh got out of his car to see you and how horrible you probably looked, he hurried over toward you and embraced you instantly as you stood up. He ran his fingers through your hair and hushed you as you cried into his chest, instantly wetting it with your tears. He didn’t ask questions as he just held you and managed to bring you inside of his home, surrounded by warmth and love.

You knew that you could always rely on him to take care of you, even after being stupid and pushing the one man away that you loved more than anything else.

Josh held onto you until your sobs finally stopped and you managed to draw in steady breaths. He didn’t say anything while you cried, just held onto you and rubbed your back and let you get all the emotion of the night out. By the time you finally calmed down, your throat felt raw and your eyes were swollen.

“Can I have some hot chocolate?” you whispered meekly. It was the first set of words the two of you had exchanged.

“Yeah, I’ll go make you some.”

Josh carefully untangled himself from you and stood up. You grabbed a nearby blanket and wrapped it around you, hoping it would emulate at least a little of the comfort that being close to Josh provided you with. From where you were sitting, you could hear the sound of Josh opening and closing cupboards as he grabbed things for your drink.

He returned a few minutes later, carrying a steaming mug of hot chocolate. You gratefully took it from his hands, making sure to thank him. Once the mug was safely in your hands, he took a seat back on the couch, close enough that he could rest one arm on the cushions behind you.

“I’m sorry,” you said. Your fingers were tapping nervously against the mug. “I know I just showed up here and you came home to me crying on your porch even though today is supposed to be a happy day and I haven’t offered any explanation. Not to mention that things have been different over the last month because of…” You stopped yourself, realizing the true gravity of what Beau had done. Who knew how long he had been cheating on you, and yet he had still tried to ruin what you had with Josh. It made you sick. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled as a fresh wave of tears spilled down your cheeks.

“Y/N/N,” Josh said. His voice was gentle, more than Beau’s had ever been even on your best nights. He gently took the mug from your hands and set it on the table so that he could pull you into his arms again. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I’m here for you no matter what happens, ok? I care about you and I never want you to deal with these things alone.”

“He cheated on me.”

You didn’t mean to blurt it out, but you were tired of letting the information just bounce around in your head. Josh tensed immediately, you could feel it. It took him a moment to relax again.

“How did you find out?” His tone was calm, but you could hear the anger that was just barely being concealed.

“They were in bed together when I got home. He must have thought he had more time since I was supposed to go to dinner with everyone, but I caught them in the act. I don’t even know who it was, or if I did, I didn’t notice.”

“I’m going to lay him out on his ass next time I see him…”

“No, no, Josh, please.” Your fingers were holding tightly to the fabric of his t-shirt. “I don’t want you getting hurt. I just want to forget about him. Please.”

You hated how desperate you sounded, how you were begging Josh to not do something. It was a trace left behind by Beau, and surely not the only one that you would be discovering in the coming weeks.

“Ok, I’m sorry,” he said, holding you a little tighter. “I won’t do anything to him, I promise. I just can’t believe he did that to you.”

“He knows that I hate cheaters. We talked about it when… when we fought last. I just don’t understand how he could do that to me if he really loved me.”

“Did he?”

You sighed, thinking over how you wanted to answer the question. Josh’s heartbeat was steady in your ear, reminding you of all the times you had heard it before. Cuddling with him at the start of tour, dancing at Tyler and Jenna’s wedding, cuddling after the Grammys. That had been love. Not what Beau gave you.

“No. I think we stopped loving one another a long time ago.”

Josh nodded in acknowledgement as he listened to you speak, even though he had known for a long time that Beau hadn’t loved you. It wasn’t love when he treated someone who was supposed to be so special to him like dirt. You were a special person to him and he planned on showing that to you every day that you were together. He had waited so long to be given this opportunity and now it was presented at its fullest capacity.

“How about we watch a movie to get your mind off of things for a bit, hm? We can watch whatever you want.” He smiled a little.

“Yeah, I like that idea.”

You nodded your head and then reached over to grab your hot chocolate again as Josh stood up to start prepping the television in front of you for your little movie night. Watching him silently, a small smile appeared on your lips as you thought of how lucky you were to have someone like him in your life. He and Tyler had been the first people to welcome you with open arms and then Jenna came along and treated you as if you were her sister. You had found a family with them and you never wanted to let that go.

Finishing up your drink, you set the cup back down on the coffee table shortly after Josh came back to settle into the couch again with you. He looked over to you with a smile of reassurance that everything was going to be alright. You just felt it. He handed you the remote so that you could scroll through all of the movies that were available. After deciding on watching something that would lift your spirits, 50 First Dates, you set the remote down and settled back into the couch cushions and wrapped the blanket tighter around your body to feel comfortable.

As the movie further progressed, your body relaxed more and more as you then decided to be bold and rest your head on Josh’s shoulder. You felt him tense up a bit as if he wasn’t sure what to do in the situation, but it quickly went back to normal and that’s when you felt his arm wrap around your own shoulders. Before, you would’ve shrugged him off because you had someone waiting at home for you. Beau, that creep. Now, you were able to finally enjoy the warmth and closeness that you loved so much. He made you feel safe, made you feel secure. It was what you needed in that moment.

Before you realized what was happening, your eyes had fallen shut and the sounds coming from the movie faded away. All you heard was the soft breathing coming from Josh and it soothed you so much that you fell into a deep sleep. Once the movie was over, Josh looked down to you and finally realized that you had passed out and tried to mentally prepare a plan on how to get you up and into bed. He knew that you really needed the sleep that you’d finally be getting that night. Once an idea was put in his head, he carefully removed himself from beneath your head and managed to gently put one arm under your legs while the other wrapped around your back, a hand resting at your side. He left the blanket around you as he carried you in his arms and into his guest bedroom, laying you down on the bed. He brushed some hair out of your face as he watched to make sure you were okay and smiled a little, leaning down to place a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Goodnight, Y/N/N.”

He turned on his heel and left the bedroom, closing the door behind him.


	14. July 2017 - Beginning of the Hiatus

You zipped up the suitcase that you had just finished unpacking and shoved it towards the closet to be tucked away until the next time you needed it. Josh watched as it rolled past him and then went back to folding the pile of shirts that was sitting next to his legs.  
“Josh, you really don’t have to sit in here and help me fold shirts. I know you have better things to do.”  
“I don’t think any of the work stuff that Tyler is trying to get me to do could beat sitting in here and spending time with you,” he smiled.  
“If you insist,” you said, hoping it would come across as nonchalant despite the butterflies that were currently overtaking your stomach.   
“Besides, I want you to feel at home here and the sooner we get your room cleaned and organized, the sooner this might start to feel like home.”  
You wanted to make a comment about how it already did as long as Josh was around, but decided against it. Your breakup with Beau had only been a few short weeks ago and you weren’t really looking to throw yourself into another relationship, no matter how much you cared for Josh. There was still some healing that needed to take place before you felt ready to fully love someone again.  
“Here, do you want to do the honors?” you asked, handing Josh a picture of you and Beau that you had just taken out of a frame.  
“You don’t want to?”  
“No. I always hated that picture of us.”  
“Why? You look nice.”  
“We got into a huge fight when we got home that night. He screamed at me for what felt like hours and I’m still not entirely sure what I did wrong. I just think of that every time I look at it.”  
Josh ripped the photo in half with no hesitation and tossed the remnants into a nearby trash bag. You, meanwhile, put a new picture of you, Tyler, and Josh from the early days of the band into the frame and set it up on the dresser.  
“What do you think?” you asked.  
Josh stopped folding for a moment to look at it. “I like that photo.”  
“Me too. That picture only has good memories attached.”  
“I’m glad.”  
You took a moment to look around the room at all the stuff you had left to unpack. Tyler and Josh had taken you over to Beau’s a few days ago to collect all of your things so that you could put an end to the relationship once and for all. Josh had walked around the house with you to help you feel safe and carry things out while Tyler stood in the kitchen with Beau, staring him down. You were glad to finally have your stuff, but you were quickly realizing how much of it brought up bad memories when you looked at it.  
You took a deep breath and pushed the thought aside. Beau was out of your life, Josh had offered for you to stay with him as long as you needed, and there was plenty of time ahead to make new memories. Even despite dealing with the aftermath of your breakup, this was the most hopeful you had felt in a long time.  
“What is this?” Josh asked, holding up a notebook.  
You recognized it instantly, but tried not to let the panic show on your face. It was one of the journals you had been keeping over the last few years, which just so happened to describe in great detail the way that you felt about Josh. You had kept it hidden away in your t-shirt drawer so that Beau would never find it, but you had evidently forgotten to take it out as you were hastily packing things up.  
“Hey, give that here,” you said, starting to reach for it.  
Josh’s eyebrows furrowed and he pulled it further away from you, “But what is it, Y/N/N?”  
“None of your business,” you said, trying not to let a smile replace your angry expression.  
“What would happen if I took a look?”  
He smirked as he began to pull open the first page. You threw all your inhibitions out the window as you lunged at him, throwing him off and knocking him back onto the ground. The notebook fell from his hands and you quickly snatched it up, though you didn’t move from your position on top of him.  
“Guess you’ll never find out,” you smiled, holding it up for emphasis.  
“I think I just did,” he laughed.  
“Sorry.” You put a hand next to his torso and pushed yourself back up to a sitting position. Once you were stable, you held a hand out and helped pull Josh back up too. “I panicked.”  
Josh rubbed at the back of his head, “It’s ok. I shouldn’t have been taunting you in the first place.”  
You playfully narrowed your eyes at him and nodded your head, putting your journal in a safe location. With a sigh, you stood to your feet and looked around the room with your hands resting on your hips. It was finally coming together. Moving over to the suitcase you had pushed aside earlier, you decided to grab hold of it again and finally put it away. But, just as you were about to, Josh swiftly came from behind you and took over, using his hip to bump you away slightly with a smirk.  
"I've got it." He put the suitcase at the top of the closet.  
With a roll of your eyes, you smirked back a bit, "My hero..."  
He laughed and pointed at you, turning to face you fully as you stare at him with wide eyes for a moment.  
"You better watch it, Y/N/N."  
"Or what? What are you going to do?" A mischievous glint in your eyes appeared and he noticed.  
Within the next few moments, you were yelling loudly as you ran down the hall to try your best to escape a giggling Josh as he tickled you from behind. Chasing you all the way into the living room, you ran around to the front side of the couch to escape him while breathing heavily. You laughed as he stared you down from behind it, resting his hands on the back of the couch to look at though he was resting, but that wasn't the case. You should have remembered just how active the man really was as he gracefully jumped over the couch and grabbed a hold of you in order to tickle again. You laughed hard as he did so and tried to escape him once more, but he held on too tightly this time and fell back onto the couch with you.  
"Okay, I give! You win!" you exclaimed.  
This caused him to finally stop and the both of you sat there for a bit and just laughed at each other and how red your faces were after it all. But after a few moments of settling down, you both just sat on the couch and relaxed after a long day of hard work. You slowly looked over to Josh and noticed that he was already looking at you, causing a dusting of a blush to appear across your cheeks. You finally looked down and started picking at a small string that was on your pants.  
"So, how do you like living here so far? Is there anything more that you need to feel comfortable?"  
"No, no. Everything is perfect right now. I really appreciate you helping me out with everything and giving me a place to stay. You don't know how much it means to me."  
You smiled softly to him.  
"Of course! You know that I'm always here for you when you need help."  
You nodded to him as a comfortable silence fell over the both of you for a few moments.  
"You know, I'm really glad that I finally decided to leave Beau... the decision has made my life ten times better."  
"If you don't mind me asking, what took you so long? I could tell that you weren't happy for a long time."  
You let a sigh escape your lips. "He had a way of making me feel low. He was a master at it. I've been trying to break up with him since a little before Christmastime."  
Josh raised an eyebrow at you and turned more to face you, causing you to follow suit.  
"What kind of things did he say to you? Just so I can hate him more."  
A slight laugh escaped your lips as you shook your head, automatically thinking of a very specific conversation you had with Beau - the most recent.  
"Well, um... whatever he could to get me to stay and feel like shit. What I just heard from him before we broke up was that..."  
You trailed off and then bit your lower lip, not sure if telling him was a good idea.  
"Hey. If you don't want to tell me, you really don't have to, Y/N/N..."  
He gently rested his hand on your shoulder with a slight squeeze. You then looked up to him finally and let your eyes settle on his, neither one of you breaking contact.  
"He thought that I was cheating on him with you, so he told me that there was no way that you could like me. That you were just in it for the chase and you would move on to someone else."  
Josh stared at you for a few moments without saying a word, almost as if he wasn't sure what to say. He shook his head finally and then scooted a little bit closer to you, resting his hand on the back of the couch as he did so.  
"That's not true at all. I hope you know that... you're someone that I could never replace. You're too special to me," he spoke softly.  
Your heart beat heavily in your chest as he neared you, those chocolate brown eyes staring into your soul with love and admiration. No one else had ever made you feel this way and it was so intoxicating that you wanted - no, needed - more. Both of your heads slowly leaned in toward each other, anticipation growing as your lips got so close that you could feel his breath tingle over your skin. Just as you were about to finally kiss, the front door swung open and…  
"Honey, I'm home! Practice time!" Tyler yelled out loudly as he stomped into the living room. Both of you shot apart with wide eyes and stared at him as he then came to realize what he had done. "O-Oh. Were you guys just about to kiss?"  
Josh slowly turned around to face Tyler and gave him a look of death, eyes glaring at him as though he had just done the unthinkable. Looking uncomfortable now at the sudden awkwardness that filled the room, Tyler apologized profusely as he quickly backed out into the room to disappear down the hall.  
“I’m so sorry,” Josh said, burying half his face in his hand. “I totally forgot that he was coming over today.”  
“No, it’s fine. You know, we probably shouldn’t have kissed, anyway.” The words were spilling out of your mouth before you had a chance to stop them. “I just got out of a really bad relationship and I don’t want to make you deal with all that aftermath.”  
“Right, right. Yeah, that makes sense.”  
Josh’s ears were bright red and he was avoiding all eye contact with you. Your head was still reeling from having him that close to you, close enough that you could feel his breath fanning across your lips. You swore it was the best feeling in the world.  
“Does he… does he usually burst in like that?” you forced a laugh, hoping it would release some of the nervous energy that was bubbling in your chest.  
“Yes, actually. I gave him a key for emergency purposes, but he seems to think that being on time for band practice is an emergency.”  
“Yeah, that sounds about right.”  
Conversation came to stop between you. Your brain was grasping for something to say, but everything you came up with never made it any further than being a mere thought in your head. What were you even supposed to say to someone after you almost kissed them?  
Tyler slowly came shuffling out of the hallway, looking sheepish. You looked at him for a moment before returning to picking at a string on your pants.  
“I made sure to check that I wasn’t interrupting something,” he said. Josh laughed and nodded, but you knew it wasn’t genuine. “Did you want to head out?”  
“Yeah, let’s get out of here,” Josh said, pushing himself up from the couch.  
You watched as he crossed the room and pulled on his shoes, occasionally running a nervous hand through his hair. The only time he looked at you was right before he left, reminding you when he would be home and asking if you would wait to make dinner with him. You said you would gladly do so and wished the boys a good practice.  
As soon as the door was shut, you let yourself decompress into the couch cushions. What was that… twice now that you had almost kissed Josh? You were beginning to think that it just wasn’t destined to happen. Or at least, not as long as Tyler was around to burst in right in the middle of it.

At least you knew now that your feelings were shared. Even despite your failed kiss, the knowledge of that was enough to put a smile on your face.


	15. August 2017 - The Hiatus

You knew this was your fault. You had said the kiss was a bad idea. You had avoided bringing up the topic since it happened. And you were the reason that your relationship with Josh hadn’t gone past best friend slash roommate slash boss for the last month.

You grabbed your phone from where it was sitting next to you on the bed and decided to see what Josh was up to. He had been spending most of his days working, meaning that more often than not you were left to your own devices for entertainment. Given the current situation between the two of you, this was both a blessing and a curse.

“Hey, mind if I join you?” you asked as you wandered into the living room. Josh was on his laptop, as per usual, with the TV running in the background. He grabbed the remote and turned the volume down a little before gesturing to the empty space next to him.

“How are you doing?” he asked. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the screen.

“I’m doing ok. How’s your work going?”

He rolled his eyes, “Tyler wants help figuring out a color scheme for this next era. We have the yellow, obviously, but he can’t decide what he wants to put with it. Look at this.”

Josh turned his laptop screen towards you, revealing a mosaic of different shades. Your eyes hurt just looking at it for a few seconds.

“Looks like exciting work.”

“Yeah, right,” he scoffed. “Actually, now that you’re here, I think I might take a break from all of this before I get a headache.”

“That’s probably not a bad idea.”

Josh reached over and grabbed his water bottle from the side table and took a long drink. You watched as he did so, trying your hardest not to just shamelessly stare at his lips. It didn’t take long for you to start thinking about when they were just centimeters from yours, close enough to feel his breath on your…

“Y/N/N?”

“Huh?”

“Are you ok? You’re staring at the ground pretty intensely.”

“Yeah, sorry, I was just zoning out.”

You wanted to bring up the almost kiss again, but just like every other time you had tried to, your mind went blank and you had no idea where to even start. Part of you was hoping one of these days, Josh would just up and kiss you, but you knew that was unlikely. As long as he thought you still needed time, he was going to wait until you gave him the ok to make a move.

Was it possible for someone to be too nice?

“Hey, do you remember the night of the Grammys?”

You weren’t entirely sure where the thought came from or why you had decided to vocalize it, but it was out in the open now. A confused expression crossed Josh’s face for a moment before it returned to normal.

“Barely. I was pretty plastered.”

“So you don’t remember me spending the night?”

Josh turned to you, confusion now evidently written all over his face.

“You spent the night?”

You began to pick at your jeans, realizing how weird this must all sound out of context. It had always been your assumption that Josh was too embarrassed to talk about what happened that night, especially after he heard about the fight with Beau. That was the reason you had always avoided bringing it up, anyway.

“Not on purpose. Do you really not remember?”

“Everything from the after party to the next morning is fuzzy, if I even remember at all. I didn’t realize you were even at my house.”

You nodded. “You asked me to bring you home because you didn’t feel good, so I did. Then when we got to your house you asked me to sit in bed with you and watch some TV and you gave me some of your clothes - which I still have, by the way - so that I could be comfortable and, um.” You began to pick at your jeans more aggressively. “You wanted to cuddle with me because it would make you feel better, so I did, and I accidentally fell asleep in your arms. I panicked the next morning and rushed home without telling you, and then everything happened with Beau and he accused me of cheating and I swore that I never wanted to think about that night again. That is, until you told me that everything Beau said was a lie and I realized that night was actually exactly what I needed.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that happened?”

“I wasn’t sure what you remembered and I didn’t want to make things awkward by bringing it up. Plus, when Beau told me all that stuff about you using me, it made me feel embarrassed that I would put myself in a situation like that. I just thought it would be better if it was never spoken of again.”

“I wish I remembered that night,” Josh sighed, rubbing at his temple.

“I used to wish that I didn’t,” you said softly.

“But not anymore?”

“Not anymore.”

Josh reached out and put a hand on your thigh. You slowly looked up at him, studying the features that you had grown to love over the last six years. His arms, dotted with colorful tattoos that hadn’t yet existed when you first met, that had held you close on so many occasions. Those chocolate brown eyes with the crinkles at the edges when he smiled that you swore you could stare at for hours. His curly brown hair that you had seen be nearly every color of the rainbow at one point or another.

You were completely, totally, hopelessly in love with Joshua Dun.

“Kiss me,” you whispered.

You didn’t have to say it twice. Josh’s lips crashed into yours, fitting perfectly against your own. Your hands tangled themselves in his dark curls, reveling in being this close to him. His hands wandered from your legs up to your waist, digging slightly into your skin as they pulled you closer. Warmth spread through your body as you kissed him.

It was better than you ever could have imagined.

“I thought you didn’t want to rush into this yet,” Josh smiled when he finally pulled away. His nose was still pressed against yours, neither of you wanting to be apart from one another.

“You know I run my mouth when I’m embarrassed,” you smiled. “Besides, I think six years is more than enough time to wait to rush into something.”

“Me too.”

Josh kissed you again. It was hard to keep yourself from smiling out of sheer happiness. You no longer had to worry about Josh’s feelings. Or your stupid boyfriend back home. Or what anyone thought of your shared interactions.

You had Josh and that was all that mattered.

* * *

You and Josh had spent most of the afternoon making up for lost time, wrapped up in one another as you laid on the couch together. Netflix was playing in the background, but it was just noise to fill the silence as your focuses were only on each other. Cuddling into him, just as you had the night of the Grammys, you looked up into his eyes as he seemingly admired your face. There was no harshness behind it, no ulterior motive, just a gentleness that had always been there. You blushed a bit which caused a gentle laugh to escape his lips, using his hand to brush along the side of your face. He leaned down to kiss you softly once again, humming into it in contentment, before leaning back to return to looking at you.

“Remember when we first met and I said that you had pretty eyes? That was the very moment that I knew I was going to fall in love with you.”

Your jaw almost dropped at his confession. “Y-You love me?”

Blinking a few times after hearing your question, as if he were in a trance, he turned pale as a ghost for a few moments and chuckled.

“Well, I wasn’t planning on saying it so soon. But… yeah. I love you, Y/N. I mean, I waited for you this whole time, even if there wasn’t any hope for me back then. I’ve loved you from the moment my eyes looked into yours.”

Smiling to him as tears brimmed in your eyes, you rested a hand on the side of his neck and pressed your foreheads together to watch him.

“And I love you, Josh. More than I’ve ever loved someone before.”

With that, your declarations were sealed with a passionate kiss that had to have been the best one you’ve ever received. You mentally kicked yourself in that moment for not leaving Beau sooner and for depriving yourself of Joshua Dun’s love for such a long time. This man waited for you. Supported you. Cared about you. Loved you.

Now was your time to make it up to him.

After a bit more time of just gentle touches, kisses, and shared thoughts of adoration, you both decided that you were starving and needed to eat. You got up off of the couch with him and held his hand as the both of you walked into the kitchen together, figuring out what sounded good. The both of you had decided on just ordering in some pizza so that you wouldn’t need to make another mess to clean up. Once the food arrived, the both of you were sitting on the couch and watching a documentary about aliens… just for Josh. Biting into the crust of your pizza slice, you looked over to him and saw that he had finished his food as he leaned over and set the plate on the coffee table.

Taking in a deep breath, he leaned back into the cushions and looked over to you with a smile on his face.

“I know that this is random, but do you… have any allergies to dogs?”

A curious eyebrow raised, you slowly shook your head. “Nooooo. Why do you ask, Dun?”

“Well, I’ve recently been thinking about getting a puppy. Maybe training it to become a sort of emotional support dog for me?”

“I think that’s an excellent idea and would be perfect for you! Any idea what kind of dog you want?” you smiled widely.

“Hm… I have no idea. I haven’t thought that far ahead. Maybe you and I could go together and find a dog?”

“I would love to, Josh. Anytime.”

You nodded to him and set your plate beside his as you finished your food. The both of you may have just started this relationship - if it was even considered that yet - and yet you had absolutely no problem doing activities that were usually set aside for couples living together. You were in deep. You had fallen hard.

“Great! Maybe we can go tomorrow and just look around to see. I want to make sure that I click with the dog before jumping in… as weird as that sounds,” he smirked.

With a laugh, you shook your head and looked over his face, pulling your legs in under yourself to get more comfortable.

“No, it doesn’t sound weird at all. You’re going to have this dog for a long time, so you need to make sure that he or she is the right one for you. I completely get it. When I was a little girl, I had a dog and it’s one of the most special relationships you’ll ever have. You’ll find the right one, I promise.”

He watched you for a few moments as you tried to reassure him and smiled lovingly, grabbing hold of your hand. He then brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of it softly, his eyes not leaving yours. Entranced, you felt your heart skip a beat as he did this and then smiled back to him, instantly letting him know that you loved how he treated you. He had already beat out Beau in half of a day.

Pulling away from the kiss, you turned to move and laid your head down on his shoulder as the both of your looked back to the television to watch the documentary.

“Did you have any ideas for a name yet? Maybe something pertaining to Twenty One Pilots or something?”

“Nah, I think that would be a bit too obvious. I kind of wanted to give him more of a human name. I really want a boy, so I’ve been wracking my brain to think of a good name that was fitting for an E.S.D.”

“And?” You lifted your head up to look at him out of curiosity.

“I really like ‘Jim’.”

“Jim,” you thought over the name for a moment. “I like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. He’ll be our little boy.”

“Exactly,” Josh grinned.

Slowly, he maneuvered your legs so that they were slung casually across his lap and rested one of his arms against them. The other was wound around you, keeping you close to him.

“Is that comfortable?” he asked.

You nodded against him, moving your arms to wrap around his torso. His body heat was radiating through the thin material of his t-shirt.

“I like that we get to do this now,” he said. “Like, cuddling and stuff.”

“As if we didn’t cuddle before,” you giggled.

“Yeah, but now we don’t have to think about how wrong it is the whole time.”

“That is a nice benefit.”

You looked around the room while you leaned against Josh, taking in all the decorations and pictures he had. It was hard not to think about how different it had all seemed at Christmas just a few short months ago. It didn’t feel like home, then. Not like it did now, anyway.

“Did you ever think things would be like this?” you asked quietly.

“Like what?”

“Like us, together.”

Josh paused for a moment and took a deep breath. You began to run your fingers idly against his side, hoping it would provide some form of comfort.

“I think I always hoped it would be, especially in the beginning. It was harder to envision it happening as time went on, but we had moments here and there that gave me just enough hope to think that maybe, one day, we would have this.”

“And we do.”

“Yeah,” Josh smiled. “We do.”

“Why didn’t you ever give up on me? I mean, six years is a long time.”

“How could I? I knew that I was never going to find someone else like you, Y/N/N. I couldn’t even if I tried.”

“Thank you for waiting for me,” you said, running a hand along Josh’s cheek. “I know it wasn’t easy for you - or either of us, for that matter - but it means a lot to me to know that I’ll always have you by my side, no matter what. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

Josh hooked a finger under your chin and tilted your head up so that he could kiss you again. It only lasted a few moments before he suddenly pulled away, but kept his fingers where they were.

“I just realized,” he said softly. “We haven’t made anything official yet.”

“What? Like you want to make this public?”

“No, no, no,” Josh smiled. “Not that I could even if I wanted to. Just, well, would you be my girlfriend?”

“Of course, Josh,” you grinned. “I’m your girl.”

He kissed you deeply before pressing his forehead against yours. His lips nearly brushed up against your own as he spoke, saying the words you had been dying to hear nearly since the day you met.

“You’re my girl.”


	16. January 2018 - The Hiatus

It was a cold winter morning and Josh had woken you up early to take you and your new dog, Jim, on a surprise trip. This was entirely new to you, since in the few months that the two of you had been dating, you hadn’t had a public outing once. Not that either of you were ashamed of what you were doing, but for the sake of keeping your private lives just that… private. Not even Tyler and Jenna knew yet, as you and Josh just secretly enjoyed your time together. After making sure that you were in comfortable and warm clothing, per Josh’s request, all three of you piled up into his car and made your way to your destination. After various times of being asked by you to tell where you were going, Josh still didn’t budge… so you decided to keep yourself busy by turning in your seat to face a very happy Jim. His face was right near yours and ready to cover it in kisses, which you narrowly avoided while laughing.

A half hour had passed and you finally made it to the surprise location: Hocking Hills State Park. Josh looked over to you with a big grin and turned off the car once he parked, taking off his seatbelt.

“I thought that it would be a fun idea to go on a hike together.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “In the freezing cold?”

“That’s the best time to go! You won’t ever get sweaty,” he said matter-of-factly. 

You had to admit… he had a point.

“Ok, ok, wise guy. Lead the way.” A smirk appeared on your own lips.

With a laugh, he got out of the car and looked around with a slightly nervous expression. He really didn’t want to be seen or noticed yet, so he decided to move quickly with getting Jim out of the car and grabbing your water bottles. You followed suit and instantly understood that he wanted to hurry the process up, so you zipped up your jacket fully and made it to his side to start your trek with Jim leading the way.

The trail was absolutely beautiful, even more so now that there was snow that dusted the ground the higher up you went. Sure, it was freezing, but the view made it all worth it. Watching as Jim made sure to sniff every inch of trail that he passed with a happy wagging tail, you giggled a bit as Josh turned his head back to look at you while holding onto his leash. A smile appeared on his face and then he hung back a bit so that he could wrap his free arm around your shoulders to bring you in close.

“You know, I was thinking… we’ve been together for a few months now. Maybe it’s about time that we told Tyler and Jenna the news. I mean, they were the ones that were rooting for us to get together, you know?” Josh looked down to you to see what you thought of the idea.

Slowly nodding, you looked back up to him with a small smile. “I think you’re right. It’s felt sort of wrong keeping it from them. I think we should tell them tonight, since they’re coming over for dinner.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

He leaned down and kissed you softly, giving you a slight squeeze before being pulled away by Jim, who had managed to find a really good scent further down.

* * *

After a full day and a fill of fresh air and walking, you decided to head back down to the car. The only problem was there were more people than there had been earlier. Josh gave you a look of sudden fear and you instantly decided then and there to take his hand and just run as fast as you could with him - the both of you laughing the whole way while Jim ran alongside you with ease. Getting everything situated in the car, you both made the drive back home and made sure that you got changed into some nicer clothes for later that night while Josh cleaned around the house a bit for you.

“Hey, before we get started… do you mind making us a fire? I kind of want to settle in first before we start cooking dinner.”

Josh looked up from playing with Jim on the floor and nodded his head happily.

“That sounds like a good idea.”

He got up and made his way over to start throwing some logs into the fireplace, crumbling some pieces of newspaper as kindling. As he did that, you decided to go and grab one of the bigger, thicker blankets so that the both of you could sit and cuddle beneath it. Once the fire was going, you sat down on the floor in front of it to warm yourself up, suddenly feeling Josh sit right beside you and as close to your side as possible. You looked in his direction and then slowly opened your arm to hold up the blanket for him to get under, which he instantly took the opportunity to do. You both remained wrapped up and in each other’s arms, seeking warmth from the fire, as Jim laid beside you to fall asleep. It was a picture perfect moment with your boys and you wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world. You internally thanked the universe for sending you Joshua Dun and getting him to stay, even when you were painfully unaware that he had stayed because he loved you.

Looking up at the clock to see that it was almost 5:00pm, you decided that it was time to finally start getting ready for having Tyler and Jenna over. Giving Josh a kiss on the lips, you smiled widely and got up from you spot as he groaned in protest.

“Do we have to do this tonight? I just want to relax with you…”

“Come on, Josh! We promised them. We haven’t had time for all four of us together in a long time, so go get changed and I’ll start prepping dinner.”

He pouted a bit as he got up with the blanket still around him and shuffled his way down the hall to get ready, causing you to laugh. He may have acted like a child most times, but you still loved him regardless.

While Josh got changed into something a bit more appropriate for your dinner, you started to collect all the ingredients you would need for dinner. Jim laid down in his usual spot just outside the kitchen where he could keep a close eye on everything that was happening, including looking out for any scraps that may have fallen from the counter. Unable to resist his puppy dog eyes, you grabbed some cheese from the fridge and tossed it his way.

“How does this look?” Josh asked as he walked out of the hallway.

He had opted for a gray sweater over a pair of dark jeans. The sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, revealing his toned forearms and the lower half of his tattoo sleeve. Aside from his hair that was still pressed to his head after wearing a hat all morning, he looked perfect.

“Come here,” you said, waving him over.

Josh leaned his hip against the counter and furrowed his eyebrows at you. You wordlessly reached up and began to run your hands through his hair, adding some volume back to his curls. It didn’t take long for him to start laughing.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“You could tell you had been wearing a hat all morning.”

“Are you sure you didn’t just want an excuse to run your hands through my hair?”

“Ok, maybe that too,” you smiled before giving him a quick kiss.

Josh wrapped an arm around your waist and turned to face the counter where all of your ingredients were laid out. “Where should we start?” he asked.

“Well, they’re going to be here in like fifteen minutes, so I think we should get the bread going. If you want to do that, I can start boiling water for the noodles.”

“On it.”

The kitchen became a whirlwind of activity as you and Josh started to get things ready for dinner. It didn’t help that Josh insisted on a kiss every time you two happened to pass each other, which was often. You weren’t complaining, though.

The two of you had just settled on the couch with Jim when there was a knock on the door. You collectively sighed and turned to look at one another, still breathing a little heavily from all your work in the kitchen.

“Do you think they’ll mind waiting out there for thirty more seconds?” Josh laughed.

“Come on, it’s cold out there,” you said, pushing yourself away from the couch. “And if Tyler hasn’t burst into the house by now, I don’t think he’s going to.”

“Shocking,” Josh laughed as he followed after you.

You opened the front door, revealing a pink-cheeked Tyler and Jenna. They both smiled as soon as they saw you, instantly wrapping their arms around you in a hug. Despite the fact that it had only been a few days since you had last seen them, you had still missed them dearly.

“It smells amazing in here,” Jenna said as she pulled off her coat.

“Thank you! Josh and I have been hard at work.”

Once everyone’s coats and shoes were off, you ushered them into the kitchen to get drinks and then made yourselves comfortable on the couch. Almost immediately, Tyler launched into some story that he had to tell about a recent outing. In no time, the four of you were laughing and swapping your own stories. 

“Oh, that’s the bread,” you said, hearing the timer go off in the kitchen. “Josh, do you mind coming with me to help?”

“Sure thing,” he answered, setting his drink down on the coffee table.

The two of you walked into the kitchen, followed closely by Jim who was always eager to see what you and Josh were up to. Josh took the bread out of the oven while you finished a few other last minute preparations. 

“Are you feeling ok?” Josh asked quietly as he sliced up the bread.

“Yeah, I’m just nervous, I guess.”

“About what? Telling them about us?”

“Yeah, I just have no idea how they’re going to react.”

Josh stopped what he was doing and rested his hands on your hips, turning you towards him. Your eyes locked to his and some of the tension in your shoulders instantly released. You had known him for six years and still didn’t understand how one look from him could make you feel so safe.

“It’s going to be perfectly fine, they’re going to be over the moon with excitement. And if tonight doesn’t feel like the right night to say anything, then we don’t have to.”

“Thank you, Josh.”

You rested a hand on the side of his face and pulled him into a kiss. His arms started to wind tighter around you, but dropped away in a fraction of a second. Just as you were about to ask if he was ok, you heard it.

“No way.”

“Oh, you have got to be kidding,” you muttered.

“Jenna!” Tyler called. “Come here! You’re not going to believe this!”

“I guess we don’t have a choice anymore,” Josh laughed, putting an arm back around your waist.

Jenna walked into the room, still carrying her wine glass in one hand. She looked at you and Josh, obviously not noticing the arm he had around your waist, and then turned to Tyler.

“What’s going on?”

Tyler crossed his arms and nodded to you and Josh, a very pleased smirk plastered across his face, “Do you want to tell her?”

“Tell me what?”

You sighed. “Josh and I are dating.”

“What?” she gasped, eyes going wide. For a split second, you thought she might drop her glass straight onto the floor.

“We were planning to tell you over dinner, but Tyler caught us kissing and, well, it was pretty obvious at that point.”

“In my defense, Jenna asked me to come in here and see if you needed any help.”

“Oh yeah, because you’ve never interrupted Josh and I before,” you scoffed.

“Never!”

“What about when we were on the bridge in Austin? Or when I helped him dye his hair? Or when we almost kissed? Or literally just now?”

“Hey, I-”

Jenna put a hand on her husband’s shoulder, instantly quieting him. He pouted for a little while, but eventually gave up and accepted his defeat.

“How long has this been going on?” she asked.

“Since August.”

“August?” Tyler and Jenna asked in unison.

“We wanted to keep it on the downlow for awhile. You know, just enjoy our time together,” Josh explained. “Plus, since we have to lay low because of the hiatus anyway, it didn’t seem like a big deal.”

“I can’t believe you managed to go that long without telling me,” Jenna smiled at you.

“I almost slipped up so many times.”

“I’m just glad to see you two are finally together,” Tyler chimed in. “I’ve been waiting for this moment since 2011.”

“We had some obstacles to overcome before we got to this point,” you said. “But we got here.”

Josh grinned and gave you another quick kiss.

“Ok, as much as I love this mushy stuff,” he said. “We should eat before it gets cold.”

“Good call.”

The four of you dished up your food and got comfortable at the dining table. Jenna and Tyler continued to pester you with questions about your relationship, though neither you or Josh really minded. It was nice to finally feel like it was out in the open, even if they were the only other two that knew.

The rest of the night flew by after dinner. Between card games and laughing at old stories from the early days of tour, you hadn’t even realized how late it had gotten until Tyler pulled out his phone and announced to Jenna that they should get home. After a few more minutes to wrap up your conversation, the four of you said your goodbyes with promises to have another night like this soon.

Josh draped his arms over you as soon as the door was closed, burying his face in your neck and leaning some of his body weight into you.

“Tonight was nice,” he whispered. “We should host more often.”

“You’re only saying that because we haven’t had to clean up all the dishes yet.”

“We can do that in the morning.”

“Is it time for bed?”

“I think so.”

Jim followed the two of you upstairs and waited patiently as you went through your nightly routines and got into pajamas. You were wrapped around Josh almost as soon as he was in bed, letting your head now rest in the crook of his neck. Jim also decided to join in on the cuddling, making sure to wedge himself wherever he could while still being next to both of you.

“I’m going to miss days like these when we go on tour again,” you said quietly.

“Me too, but there will be plenty of other adventures to go on when that does happen.”

“You’re not planning something, are you?”

“Just having a nice time on tour with my girl.”

“And Jim!”

“Yeah,” Josh laughed. “And Jim.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” He pressed a quick kiss to your head. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”


	17. October 2018 - Beginning of the Bandito Tour

“The stage is all prepared!”

“Do you know what we did with Tyler’s ukulele?”

“At what time do the boys end Pet Cheetah?”

It had been a year - a year - since Tyler and Josh had placed themselves on a hiatus. Now they were finally back in action to start up their new Bandito Tour, leaving you a scrambling mess to make sure that everything got done on time. This was their biggest tour yet and you wanted to make sure that it was perfect for each and every show that they did. All shows that, unsurprisingly, were sold out each and every time. The fans hadn’t let them down and you had known that they wouldn’t, although you knew that the boys had become a bit apprehensive in regards to it.

Looking down to your checklist, you marked off a few of the items and then looked around to make sure that everything was in its place for the show that was about to start. Barking out orders in the nicest fashion, you made sure that everyone from the security team to the tech team were in position and ready to roll for when the time came.

“Make sure that the safety team is ready and waiting! There will be a lot of effects on stage, so we need to be careful!” you called out into your headset as you headed back toward the dressing rooms.

Heading to Tyler’s door first, you knocked on it a few times to hear a shout on his end.

“Hey, it’s Y/N/N. Just letting you know that we have about ten minutes before showtime. Be ready!” you shouted back through the door.

A brief acknowledgment received from him, you nodded and then made your way over to Josh’s dressing room shortly after with a knock.

“Josh?”

“Yeah, come on in!”

Turning the door handle, you slowly open the door and see Josh pulling on his shirt as you smiled to him. You closed the door behind you and then leaned against it to watch him, seeing him smile back.

“You ready to get back out there and make your fans happy?”

“God, you don’t know how ready I am,” he said as he put his shoes on.

A smirk appeared on your face as you kept your eyes on him, watching his every movement.

“Do you remember when I used to have to hold a blanket or towel over you and Tyler as you guys got dressed? Back when there were no dressing rooms?”

Thinking back that far made Josh laugh as he nodded his head in remembrance.

“Ah, I remember that well. It was awkward back then, but now it’s just funny to think about. Like the time that Tyler pushed me into you and made us fall.”

“Oh, god. I still have to get him back for that. He’s such a brat…” you smirked.

“Hey, but all of his insistent nagging of us getting together finally paid off, right?”

You gave him a loving smile.

“It sure did.”

Josh slowly wandered over to where you were standing and grabbed your hands, pulling you further into the room. He helped you jump up onto a table and stood in the space between your legs, resting his hands lightly on your hips.

“You know, I’ve been doing some thinking, and… how would you feel about going public?”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise, “With our relationship?”

“Yeah. I mean, the hiatus is over, tour is back on again, we won’t be able to avoid being seen together much longer. I know that you’re the one I want to spend my life with, Y/N, and I want everyone else to know that too.”

“I like that,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around him. “Whenever and however you decide to announce it, I’ll be ready.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Josh leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips. It was just for a moment, and then he was pulling away from you so that he could finish getting ready.

“Alright, I have some more last minute things I need to do before the show,” you said, grabbing your clipboard and hopping down from the table. “Be in your spot in five minutes.”

“Will do.”

“Good luck out there tonight, Josh. You’re going to kill it.”

He turned to look at you over his shoulder just as you were leaving the room, “Thanks, Y/N/N.”

* * *

You watched as Josh walked back across the bridge, holding your breath as he did so. Everything so far was going exactly as planned, and you didn’t want the one moment that didn’t to result in your boyfriend crashing down into a crowd of hyped up fans. Tyler had crossed over with no problem though, so you weren’t too worried.

You watched as Josh glanced around the arena and brought his hands to the end of his shirt. There was only a split second of confusion in your mind before he ripped it open, exposing his chest to the crowd. In your shock, you grabbed onto the arm of a nearby crew member who looked just as surprised as you did.

“Holy shit,” you murmured into your other hand.

The crowd continued to go wild as Josh made it all the way back to the stage and passed his shirt off to a crew member. You nodded, switching your brain back into “tour manager” mode in a split second. Even if you wanted to spend the rest of the show ogling over your boyfriend, you knew there were still things that you needed to be tending to.

The song came to a close and you waited for Tyler to head towards the crowd for the beginning of Holding On To You. That moment never came, however, as he simply grabbed his mic and sauntered casually towards the front of the stage. You frantically began to look around, wondering what was going on, but all of the crew members seemed unaffected by this change in the schedule.

“Alright, we’re going to be doing something a little different tonight,” Tyler started. “Josh and I want to bring someone very special out on stage tonight.”

Your heart was pounding on your chest. Why hadn’t anybody notified you about this change?

“Y/N,” Tyler said, turning in your direction. “Do you mind coming out here?”

You looked at a nearby crew member, just to confirm that you had heard Tyler correctly. He nodded, so you quickly passed off your clipboard and headset before walking out on stage. There were some cheers as you became visible, but it seemed like nothing compared to the applause that the boys were usually met with.

Tyler slung an arm around you as you took your place next to him, and a moment later you felt Josh’s arm around you too. You turned to look at him, curious as to why he had joined you at the front of the stage. Josh rarely left his drums during the course of a show.

“For those of you who don’t know, this is Y/N. She has been our tour manager since the very early days of our career, way before we were ever playing shows like this. She’s the one that makes sure all of our shows go smoothly, no matter what crazy things are going on behind the scenes. If it weren’t for her, we probably wouldn’t be here right now.”

You took a deep breath and rubbed your eyes, hoping to keep the tears from slipping down your cheeks.

“We just wanted to say thank you for everything you’ve done, Y/N,” Tyler smiled at you. “Can we get a round of applause for her?”

The room erupted into the applause that you were used to. It took awhile for them to calm back down, but you didn’t care. You could hardly believe that you were standing here, next to the love of your life and one of your best friends, being cheered on by all these people. If someone had told you this is where you would end up when you first hit submit on the application website, you wouldn’t have believed them.

“But that’s not the only reason we wanted to bring Y/N out here tonight,” Tyler continued, sharing a look with Josh. “To one of us, Y/N is a little more than a tour manager.”

Before you had a chance to process what was going on, Josh turned you towards him and planted a kiss on your lips.

Something about this kiss was different than any of the other times before. Not that it was bad, far from it, but there was a new element to it that you hadn’t experienced yet. By the feel of it and the way that Josh was holding you, it almost felt as if he were… proud to show you off? Whatever it was, it made you feel more alive than you ever remembered. So much, in fact, that all sounds around the both you seemed to disappear for a time as the both of you solely focused on one another and no one else. It was a feeling of euphoria, a high that you never wanted to come down from. But, unfortunately, you had to as the both of you were in front of thousands of people and would even be recorded to be put on social media. You slowly wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back, as the sound of loud cheering and screaming re-entered your ears. The crowd was going wild.

The both of you had decided to pull away as Tyler began laughing into the microphone, smirking widely as he shook his head.

“I’m sorry, guys, but this show is PG.”

You and Josh laughed at him, while you playfully smacked his arm. He laughed more and then handed the microphone over to Josh, which completely gobsmacked you. Josh absolutely hated speaking in front of large groups of people, but he was willing to do it for this… for you.

“So, in all seriousness, guys, this announcement was about me letting all of you, The Clique, know that Y/N is my girlfriend… if you hadn’t guessed that already,” he chuckled and was momentarily caught off guard by more loud cheering. “And she’s been my girlfriend for a year now. It happened over the hiatus and we’re very much in love.”

A big smile appeared on your face as you listened to Josh talk about the both of you and how happy he was in the relationship. You couldn’t believe how lucky you got with him.

After he was finished, he handed the microphone back to Tyler and then gave you one last kiss on the lips to say goodbye, resting his hands on both sides of your neck to keep you in place. He then backed away with a grin and happily jogged his way back to the drums, which meant that was your cue to exit the stage. Looking back to Tyler, you both hugged once more and then you quickly went backstage again to resume your duties, despite everyone coming up to you with congratulations and hugs. Most of them hadn’t really known anything about the relationship, but it was now all in the open and you were extremely happy about that.

* * *

Once the show was over, you were able to relax as nothing bad had happened and everything had gone according to plan - save for the little stunt that Tyler and Josh had pulled by bringing you on stage. But you couldn’t be mad at them. Not one bit. You grabbed the boys towels and water bottles, just like you had always done, and watched as they came backstage with looks of elation on their faces. They were happy with everything and that made you feel really good about how things went on your end. They both neared you and took the items out of your hands, gulping down the water almost immediately. Tyler went straight to using his towel to dry off, but Josh gave you a big smile and then pulled you in for a sweaty hug, which caused you to laugh loudly.

“Josh! No! Tyler, help me!” you yelled out to your best friend.

“I don’t think that I can help you,” he started, looking over to see Jenna make her way over. “I have a wife to go and see.”

With that, he was gone. Josh laughed along with you for a few moments before pulling away and using his towel to dry himself off. He watched you for a few moments, not being able to wipe the grin off of his face.

“So, that was some surprise you had in store for me earlier.”

“Did you at least like it?”

You gave him a happy smile, resting your hand on his arm.

“I loved it.”

“Good, I was afraid it would be too much.”

“It was perfect. Although I will admit that when you asked me about going public earlier today, I was thinking you meant an Instagram post,” you laughed.

“You mean more to me than just an Instagram post,” he answered, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling you close. “You’re my girl.”

“I’m your girl.”

Josh kissed you again, but it was cut short by a distant bark. You pulled away immediately, turning towards the source of the noise.

“Jim!” you called.

The golden retriever jumped around happily and tugged on his leash, eager to close the space between you. You gave the crew member in charge of him the signal to drop his leash, and in moments Jim was barreling towards you and Josh. The two of you bent down to the ground and held your arms out. He laid down right in front of you, turning his tummy up towards you for rubs.

“I missed you,” you cooed. “Were you a good boy while mom and dad were working?”

Jim let his tongue flop out of his mouth, which you took as a yes. You took a moment to look between Jim and Josh, admiring the little family that you had become a part of over the last year.

“Ok, I need to go help the crew get everything ready.” You stood up and brushed some hair off of your pants. “I’ll see you on the bus?”

“Of course.”

Josh took Jim’s leash, gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, and headed off down the hallway. As much as you wanted to stand around and admire your two boys, you knew there was work to be done.

* * *

“Where’s Josh?” you asked as you stepped onto the bus. You were exhausted and ready to cuddle up next to him for the rest of the night.

“Back of the bus with Jim,” Tyler answered.

“Thanks. Oh, and Ty?”

“Yeah?”

“I really appreciated your speech tonight. I hope you know how appreciative I am of everything you two have done for me. You too, Jen.”

Tyler and Jenna both began to smile. “Like I said, we couldn’t have done this without you.”

“And you’ve been the best friend to me over the years,” Jenna chimed in.

You gave them each a quick hug before setting down your stuff and making a beeline for the back of the bus. As Tyler had said, Josh was already in a pair of sweatpants and cuddling in bed with Jim as he scrolled through his phone. His face lit up when he noticed you walk into the room.

“There you are.”

“Hi,” you said, collapsing down next to him on the bed.

“How was finishing up?”

“Not bad. I had to help out some of the newer crew members, but they picked it up pretty quick. Other than that, it wasn’t much different than the last tour.”

“You still remember how to do it even after a year?”

“Shockingly.”

You grabbed a nearby pillow and pulled it under your head, finally allowing your eyes to close and your body to rest after a long night of work.

“Are you tired?”

“Yeah,” you hummed into the pillow.

“You should change into pajamas.”

“One of your shirts?” you smiled.

“Sure.”

You slowly got up and changed into a pair of pajama shorts and one of Josh’s shirts. He continued to scroll through his phone as you rushed through your nightly routine, eager to get into bed with him and Jim.

“Ok, I’m finally done,” you smiled, once again collapsing into bed, this time into Josh’s outstretched arm as well.

“Here to cuddle?”

“As always.”

Josh pulled the blanket up around the three of you while you got comfortable. Between Josh’s strong arms wrapped around you and Jim curled up by your stomach, your eyelids were already beginning to get heavy.

“Hey, Josh?” you mumbled.

“Yes, Y/N/N?”  
“I love you a lot and I’m really thankful for our little family. I didn’t think I was ever going to be this happy.”

Josh pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, letting his lips linger for a little while.

“I love you too. I wouldn’t give this up for the world.”

You smiled and nestled yourself a little further into his chest.

“You did great tonight, by the way. And that little stunt you pulled on the bridge? I forgot that I had a job to be doing for a moment.”

“It wasn’t dorky?” he laughed.

“Not dorky at all.”

“Thanks. Now we should probably get some rest so that we aren’t wiped for the show tomorrow.”

“Good plan.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Josh.”


	18. June 2019 - End of the Bandito Tour

Jenna: Let’s be cute today! Put on your cutest sundress and I’m going to be there in thirty to pick you up for a girl’s day. We’re getting our nails done!

That was the text that you had received less than ten minutes ago as you tore through your clothes in the closet that you shared with Josh. Finding the yellow sundress that you had instantly thought of, you quickly changed into it and slipped on some wedges that went perfectly with the color scheme you were going for. You did your makeup in record time, still making sure that it was perfect before moving to your hair, pulling it halfway up and into a cute messy bun. Spraying some perfume on to finalize your look, you heard the doorbell ring - instantly knowing that it was Jenna. Jim, who had been laying on the bed as you got ready, lifted his head up curiously as he heard it and instantly ran down the hall.

You made your way behind him and grabbed your cellphone and purse, hurrying over to the front door. Opening the door to reveal a smiley Jenna, you giggled a bit at her and then pulled her in for a big hug.

“Hey, you! I’m just going to leave Josh a note that I’ll be leaving to go out with you. Just give me a second. I’ll meet you out there.”

“Okay, hurry up! We have stuff to do!”

Hurrying back over to your post-it notes, as Jenna reclosed the door to head back to her car, you grabbed a pen and quickly jotted down your location and that you’d be back later. Adding a little heart at the end, you said goodbye to Jim with a pat on his head and exited your home, locking it behind you. You got into her car and the both of you were off to the nail salon.

* * *

“You know that I never have my nails longer. They don’t make things easy at work.”

“I know, but it would be nice to see something different on you. Just to try! If you don’t like it after 24 hours, then we can come back and get them fixed.”

After thinking on it, you finally decided to give in and try for a bit of a longer nail. You may have budged on the subject, but you weren’t going to completely move. After getting your nails done and feeling pampered, you both decided on having lunch at the nearest thai food restaurant. It had been forever since you had eaten it, so it was a never ending craving. You both got to talk about many things, including how life had been, how things were going in both relationships… everything under the sun. When she looked at her watch with a sigh, she looked up to you again and started gathering her trash.

“It’s getting a bit late and I promised Ty that I would be back home to cook some dinner. You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go!”

* * *

The drive back home was filled with more discussion and light music playing in the background. No matter how much time the both of you spent together, there was never a shortage of things to talk about, and that’s one of the many reasons why you loved Jenna. Finally pulling back into your driveway, you smiled to your best friend and leaned over to give her a hug.

“I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Thank you so much for today. It was fun!” you exclaimed as you got out of the car to head inside.

With a smirk, she nodded and waved, “You’re welcome!”

You watched as Jenna pulled out of the driveway and disappeared around the bend at the end of the street. Once she was out of sight, you grabbed your keys from the depths of the purse and made your way up the path that led to the house. Josh had been pretty quiet in terms of communication today, and you were silently hoping that he was home already so you two could spend the rest of the afternoon together.

Music was the first thing that you heard when you opened the door. You recognized it instantly; it was the song that you and Josh had first danced to at Tyler and Jenna’s wedding, also known as the night that you had fully realized how you felt about Josh. After you had confessed that to him shortly after you started dating, you two had deemed the song that played that night “your song”.

“Hello?” you called as you set your things by the door and kicked off your shoes. “Josh?”

“I’m in here!”

You were relieved to hear his voice. After taking a second to look over your appearance in the mirror and deeming it passable, you followed the sound of the music into the living room. Your heart stopped as soon as you rounded the corner.

Fairy lights were strung all around the room, blinking softly against the walls and furniture, with pictures of you and Josh from the moment you had met to only a few short weeks ago clipped along them. Rose petals were laid out on the ground, creating a path from where you were standing to the middle of the room. There were even a couple of your favorite candles around, adding to the romantic atmosphere. And in the middle of it all was your boys - Josh and Jim - wearing matching black bow ties.

“What’s going on?” you asked, never letting your eyes leave Josh as you grew closer to him. “I didn’t forget an anniversary, did I? Isn’t it in two months?”

“You didn’t forget anything,” Josh smiled. “But you are going to remember something.”

Before you had a chance to ask what he meant, Josh dropped to one knee and pulled out a little black box. Your eyes were brimmed with tears in an instant, hardly able to believe what they were seeing in front of them. Josh was absolutely beaming as he turned the box over in his hands a few times.

“I thought for a long time about how and when and where I wanted to do this, but the one thing I never had to question was why. Y/N, I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that I was going to fall in love with you and from then on there was no going back. I have fallen in love with every last thing about you, even the parts that you think don’t deserve to be loved. There is nobody else in the world that I would rather spend the rest of my life with. So, Y/N Y/L/N,” he opened the little box and held it out towards you, “will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you barely managed to choke out through the tears. “Of course, Josh.”

Josh’s smile grew even wider, if that was even possible, as he pulled the ring out of the box. You held out your hand and he carefully slipped the ring onto your finger. It was shining in the dim light from the fairy lights. Jim, upon noticing the excitement, was eagerly thumping his tail against the floor.

“I didn’t want to get anything too big so that you could still wear it while you’re working,” Josh explained as he stood back up. “I hope you like it.”

“It’s perfect. Absolutely perfect.”

You finally managed to get your hands on Josh and pulled him into a kiss. His arms wound around your waist, pulling you into the embrace that had provided you with comfort for so many years. He was the first to pull away, but he kept his forehead pressed against yours.

“You look beautiful today, by the way,” he grinned as he wiped away some of your tears with his thumb.

“Thank you.” A familiar heat rose to your cheeks, despite the fact it was a compliment you had heard countless times before. “I love you so much, Josh. This was everything I ever could have dreamed of.”

“I just wanted to make this moment special. I love you to the stars and back and wanted to show you that.”

“You definitely did.”

You kissed him again, but it was interrupted by an all too familiar voice.

“So, it finally happened, huh?”

You spun around in Josh’s arms, still keeping your hands on his shoulders. Tyler was standing just inside the living room with his arms crossed, that same stupid smirk that you had seen so many times before plastered on his face.

“No, Tyler,” you held a finger out towards him, “you do not get to come ruin this moment. You’ve done plenty of that already.”

Josh and Tyler both began to laugh, making you turn back to look at Josh in surprise.

“Y/N, it’s ok. He helped me set all of this up, he’s supposed to be here.”

“You’re sure?”

He smiled, “I’m sure.”

“I’m not the only one who’s here, either.”

Tyler wandered around the corner towards the entryway. He returned shortly after with Jenna, who was trying - and failing - to hide her obvious excitement.

“What’s going on?” you asked.

“Well, I knew that this was going to be a big moment for us,” Josh explained. “And I figured what better way to celebrate it than with our family?”

That was enough to send a fresh wave of tears down your cheeks. You were still in disbelief that you had ended up surrounded by so many wonderful people who cared for you so deeply. People that you now knew would be by your side for the rest of your life.

It was better than you ever could have dreamed of.

* * * * * * *

The end?


End file.
